Getting Back on the Horse

It is time. I have been wallowing in morning, noon and night sickness for a hundred years now and it is time to take back my life! OK, so while I am still having some days where I feel really horrible, it seems to have settled down a bit into a more manageable level of just feeling kind of lousy most of the time.

I want my house back in order! I want my child to do something other than watch TV while her mommy lies around all day! I want my routine back! My schedules and my to do lists and my workouts and my walks outside!!!

I will be starting from scratch and I know it will take some time to get back into a routine and some time until I feel more like normal and not so lousy, so I am just going to start slow, take it one day at a time.

I know that December will be extra busy with Christmas stuff, but I want to get back into walking each day as soon as Christmas is over.

I want to try to incorporate any extra Christmas daily activities with my scheduled daily tasks. Since I am not working for Smug-Sister anymore, this should be doable and not too overwhelming.

Once Christmas is over and I have established my daily routines again, then I will start with the deep cleaning and organizing of each room, like I did earlier this year. Every room has gotten totally out of control again because I haven't been up to keeping things in order and it is time to get them back in line! I want to have this completed by the end of my second trimester. That's the goal!

Also, once all the Christmas food and baking and parties and such are over, I am going to get back to eating mostly vegan and getting a lot more veggies into my body! I feel like I haven't been taking very good care of this new baby the last few months. I have been focused on surviving the morning sickness while trying to remember to feed my daughter and maybe change her diaper a time or two! Beyond that, I haven't been much good to anyone! I was eating a nice salad the other day and realized that I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten a vegetable! I have been living on frozen pizza, cereal, pancakes and oatmeal - quick foods that don't take long and don't require much effort! It is high time to get back to eating right!! I know that it will be hard to stay diary free over the holiday's so I am just letting that go. I will focus on getting as much good food in me as possible and be at peace with the junk food that I know I will joyfully consume over Christmas! After all 2012 is another year!

So, with any luck as I enter the last three months of pregnancy, I should have my house organized, my routines established, my workouts and walks going strong and my diet really clean and healthy. I figure that it will be at about that time that the leg swelling will start and I'll need to slow down again and get ready to bring a new little-smug into the family!!

Here is to getting back on track (once again...) and to moving forward!!

Do Not Open Until June 2012!

Well, I can officially tell you (all 1 reader of you!!) that Smug-Baby is going to be a big sister!! It has been really hard not to blog about this pregnancy so far. We wanted to tell our family in person at Thanksgiving and we wanted to keep it a bit quiet until the end of the first trimester. But since I blog about my daily life it was like I couldn't blog! I couldn't talk about other stuff, because there isn't really anything in my life that isn't affected by this new baby!

Now the news is out there and I can start keeping a detailed record of this pregnancy! Mostly, the only major thing that I have to report is the morning sickness!! It is terrible and horrible and never-ending!!

I don’t remember it being this hard. Morning sickness was a big problem when I was pregnant with Smug-Baby, but as long as I ate every 2 hours on the dot I felt pretty decent. With this baby, I feel horrible all the time, before I eat, after I eat, in the morning, in the afternoon and in the evening. The evening is actually the worst and morning, before I eat or drink, the best – Go figure! I am currently 13 weeks along and I am hoping and praying that the morning sickness is on the way out!

I have been dealing with a lot of turmoil regarding the birth of this new Little-Smug. I initially really wanted to have Little-Smug at home, but factors outside my control have made that no longer an option and I will talk more about those in coming posts. For now we are planning to bring this baby into the world in the same hospital where Smug-Baby was born, but with a different doctor and a different doula for support. I felt really trapped in the beginning. Trapped because my city has so few options for birthing women and I am still upset about that, however, I really trust the woman who is going to act as my doula and I feel stronger with her by my side. Also, the many discussions I have had with Smug-Hub over the last 3 months have really brought us closer and I feel like he will support me and protect me and help make sure that things are done to our specifications.

I am really sad that Smug-Baby will not be able to be part of her baby brother or baby sister’s birth, but she can come into the delivery room the second Little-Smug is born and bond with us all together, so that is helping me cope. I also really trust in my baby and my body and I have a strong feeling that this baby is going to come really fast and I will not have a long labor that will keep Smug-Baby away from me for a long time. Babies have plans for their births and I have to trust that this baby has his or her own plan too. Let go and let God! Easier said than done and we will see how my calm holds up as I connect more deeply to this baby and my mama bear comes out toward the end. I hope that I will still be able to let go and trust that all will be as it should be!

Getting Excited About Christmas

So, it was Black Friday and all through the house, no was heading to the mall cause we ain't stupid!!!

I waited to do my shopping until Cyber Monday and then I went a little nuts! I took care of Smug-Baby for the most part as well as the few last minute items that I needed. I got free shipping on everything I ordered and saved tons because everything I ordered was on sale!!

I even found the diaper bag that I have been lusting over on eBay, used for totally cheap and a replacement wipe warmer on Craigslist! The wipe warmer has to be replaced because Smug-Baby climbed up into her changing table and threw the current wipe warmer off the edge, causing the plug to separate itself from the warmer and the cord in a way that was not designed by the manufacturers!

I also created a new 2012 family calendar on Shutterfly and ordered a little something for Smug-Hub too, because I had a $10 off coupon and of course, free shipping!

I still need to get something for my step-brother and my brother-in-law, but I know what I want to get them and it is just a matter of driving over to the stores as soon as I have some money again. I also wanted to get one thing from Toys-r-us for Smug-Baby, but they are only offering free shipping on orders over $50 and it is a $10 item, so I will drive out there one random afternoon soon and pick that up and try to escape the mall area without killing or being killed!

Also, I still need to do the baking for the neighbors and other friends that I do each year, but that will wait until closer to actual Christmas time. It is kind of sneaking up fast though!

We are having Christmas pictures taken this Sunday at Sears (I have a Groupon!) and I will turn those into our Christmas cards and get those mailed out in a few weeks.

We are kind of putting off decorating the house and putting up the tree. I think that as much as I love the tree, it is big and kind of in the way and I get irritated if it is up too long, so I am toying with the idea of waiting until the weekend before Christmas. Smug-Hub has to work a lot of the upcoming weekends, but should be off the 19th/20th and we could make a day of it. We will see!

Yesterday, I cooked a turkey, mashed potatoes, yams, mac and cheese, stuffing, corn pudding, Watergate salad, cranberries, green bean casserole, rolls and apple pie for dinner. Smug-Hub was in heaven! It was great, because it was all our favorite and now we have tons of leftovers to last us the rest of the week and into the weekend. It really felt festive and we both went to sleep feeling overly full and happy!!

I am excited about all that the new year holds and thankful for all that this past year has given me. I am so thankful for the love of my family and friends and looking forward to a really fun holiday season!!

Thanksgiving

I am so excited about Thanksgiving this year. I am always excited about seeing my family and eating all that wonderful food, but this year I am also excited because Smug-Baby is just so full of personality now! The last time the family was together was at Easter and she was still pretty clingy wants only Smug-Hub and I and didn't have much fun with the other kids.

Now she is starting to feel more confident in herself and her world. I think that it will take her some time to warm up to everyone (because my family is large and loud and it is probably overwhelming for a tiny person), but I think that this year, she will be running around with the other kids and getting into stuff and having a fun time.

I am also really excited about all the food! Oh, I mentioned that already did I? Well, I like food and I like eating and I like cooking, so its a trifecta of awesome!!

Today after I leave the office I am going home to make a pound cake, cranberry salad and a sweet potato casserole! The pound cake is from Paula Dean, and I made it last week too and it is OMG awesome!!! The cranberries are a recipe that I got from the Grandmother of an old boyfriend a 100 years ago and everyone loves it. You know if it came from a grandma it is going to be good! The sweet potatoes are going to be vegan! Everyone in my family is a huge meat eater and always turns their noses up at my "strange" eating habits, but they all love my sweet potatoes and they are totally vegan! I make it with Silk Creamer and Earth Balance, they are creamer and wonderful and everyone loves them! I don't have the heart to tell them that they are eating something "strange"!

I may spill the beans this year, because my cousin recently watched Food, Inc. and has decided that my "Strange" eating habits might be something she wants to partake in too! I think that she is cutting out all animal products completely, while I am less hardcore when it comes to holiday's! I like the traditional favorites and I try to eat really decently the rest of the year, so I give myself a break around the holiday's.

I am really looking forward to being with all these people that I love so much! I want to hang out and talk and catch up with what everyone has been doing and I squeeze the babies and see how much the kids have grown! There are a couple pregnant belly's to be kissed and some football to be watched. I want to relax and let others entertain my child for a bit and just be with people who love me, even if I eat "Strangely"!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

Jinxing Myself

I know that by typing this out I am jinxing myself and will be kicking myself tomorrow, but…

We have had three really good nights in a row!! This week, so far, has been really good in the sleeping department! Smug-Baby has gone down for a restful sleep at about 9pm each night and only nursed once or twice during the night. I have woken a few times to roll over or whatever, but basically have gotten 5-6 hours of solid sleep before Smug-Baby wants to nurse sometime around 2am.

She is actually not nursing much during the day this week either and I wonder if she is starting to wean herself a bit. She still nurses for comfort and to fall asleep at night and I am really happy about the developments. I like that she is still nursing and I love the bonding, but I am getting tired of her trying to nurse and “dance” at the same time and causing me pain J I guess this is the natural evolution of things and I am OK with it.

Getting some decent sleep during the evenings has allowed me to function better during the day and I have been getting a lot done. This is the last week that I will be caring for Smug-Niece and I feel like I am doing a better job of being there for both girls now that I am not feeling so tired that I can’t move. I am really looking forward to next week when it is just Smug-Baby and I and my normal “to do” list. I want to get naps established first thing and get my house back into shape, but I am really looking forward to a more relaxed schedule and lots of time to play with my girl!!!

Changes

There are some things changing in my life that I will be able to talk about here soon, but one that I can discuss is that Smug-Sister and I are changing our childcare arrangement in that I will no longer be keeping Smug-Niece on a daily basis.

There are a couple of reasons for this, one of which is the thing that I can't talk about yet. One of the other reasons is simply that it is getting too hard for my sister to give her child good care in the mornings while waiting for my arrival. She works from home, but that means that she has to work! Lead meetings and take notes and talk to people and she can't do that and care for a toddler who wants to play outside or get into everything on the desk or what have you. She has had times where she has needed to put Smug-Niece in the crib and walk away for a short time to get some meeting underway and she feels horrible about that.

Another reason is that I need to get some good routines established for Smug-Baby. She is still not sleeping well at night and I wonder if that is due in part to napping in her car seat every day. Her naps are dictated a lot by having another baby in the car who may keep her from falling asleep or wake her before she is ready. As Smug-Sister said, our first priority needs to be to our families and what is best for them.

So Smug-Sister has started the process of finding alternative childcare options and will be interviewing people over the next few weeks and we will start transitioning Smug-Niece into a new situation soon.

My goal is to make sure that Smug-Niece adjusts well to the new situation. Smug-Baby and I have been with her since she was 3 months old - every day! We are her day! She runs up for hugs when we get there and she and Smug-Baby kiss and hug each other. They are very close and I don't want to lose that.

On the other hand, my heart sings at the thought of getting off work and having the rest of the whole day to spend at home with my girl! She can nap in her own bed! I could perhaps attend an LLL meeting or a baby wearing meeting; get Smug-Baby into Melody Makers or another kind of group setting where she can make some friends. She is very used to being able to just grab things from Smug-Niece or push her over when Smug-Baby gets frustrated and I want her to be around all kinds of other kids too and learn that others will push back and take toys from her.

I will not feel such pressure to get stuff done around the house. I can still use my weekly breakdown to get everything done, but I won't feel like I have to stick Smug-Baby in front of the TV while I rush around to get laundry going or clean the bathroom.

Financially, this change will be hard on us both. Smug-Sister is going to have to pay someone else more than she has been paying me and I will have to adjust to less money coming in each month, but I am very excited about the thought of having some of my life back and I am willing to cut off the cable TV to make ends meet if necessary :)

Finished... At Least for a While

Well, I am finished with the big room! Yes, the movies are still not in alphabetical order and the books aren't arranged by subject and yes, the paperwork still needs to be gone through and filed away, but the room looks nice and is clean and ready for company.

This is a really good thing, because my MIL will be here in three short days and I need to clean her bathroom, vacuum all my floors and wash, dry, fold and put away this mountain of dirty clothing that has amassed itself in my laundry room! I don't know how three people can dirty so many clothes!!

Well, yes I do! Smug-Baby is going through at least two outfits a day and sometimes three. This is because of her new obsession with washing dishes. She pulls me into the kitchen points at the sink and then to the dining room chair and repeats "dish dish" over and over until I move the chair in place, remove all the breakable or sharp items from her reach and turn on a small trickle of water. She will stand up there and play for a really long time, which is nice because it allowed me to clean the bathroom one day and upload some pictures to Facebook another.

The result of this is though that she ends up getting water all over herself and the floor and the chair. Which really is fine with me, because she is happy and I am able to get other stuff done. So I clean up the chair and floor and then change her outfit and she plays at something else until it is time for me to make dinner and then suddenly the "dish dish" needs to be done again :)

So, yes, a mountain of laundry to work on today, a bathroom to clean tomorrow and a house to make sure is picked up and looks like I am not a total slob of a wife and mother on Wednesday before I trek off to the airport to get her and my daughter can finally have time her her other grandmother!!

I am so grateful that my family is close and Smug-Baby has a close relationship with them. When we leave her with my Dad and Step-Mom she is happy and doesn't cry out for us. When she spends time with my Mom, she is happy and safe and secure! I want Smug-Hub's Mom to have a close relationship with Smug-Baby too, but she is so far away that she has only seen Smug-Baby three times. That being said, they warmed up to each other super fast, like within 30-45 minutes and were great buddies the whole visit. But then they are separated again for long periods of time and that breaks my heart. I know that as Smug-Baby gets older she will remember her other Grandmother more, but I am going to buy my MIL a web cam so we can have weekly Skype sessions!! There has to be a way for them to stay more connected!!