Flying Low

Maybe it's just that people with small children aren't supposed to have sparkling clean homes, but I have really been feeling discouraged this week. I am kept jumping almost all day long just to keep up with the daily "have to do's" and I am not anywhere closer to fitting in even one 15 minutes zone cleaning session each day or anything physical each day.

When I set the timer and start trying to organize something like my bathroom drawers, Smug-Baby wants to "help" and ends up dumping out everything I have just gotten straight, or she has a mental melt-down and I have to hold and rock her until she is feeling herself again, or Little-Smug wants to nurse or is tired of playing in his swing or is unhappy being worn because I'm not moving around enough.

I downloaded some workout videos, abs, butt, and chest, to my phone, each one takes less than 10 minutes and isn't too complex. Except, when I start doing push-ups, Smug-Baby climbs onto my back. When I start doing bridge lifts (for the butt) she lies across my chest and when I start doing crunches, she starts to cry and needs me to hold her hand. Its almost like she can sense that I am going to do something for myself and since that would make me happy, she has to put an end to it.

The treadmill is downstairs and the only time that I have to run or walk is in the early mornings before Smug-Hub leaves for work. This means getting up before everyone else after not getting a good nights sleep because Little-Smug is waking to nurse 10+ times in the night, Smug-Baby comes into our room at some point and that wakes me up and Smug-Hub stays up late and when he comes to bed, that wakes me up too. Not to mention, Smug-Baby kicks sometimes and Smug-Hub snores!!

OK, so I have to get up early, by 6:00am at least, say I do that, I still have to get downstairs without waking anyone. Currently, Little-Smug doesn't like to sleep unless my boob is smashed into his face, so within 15 minutes of my getting out of bed, he's up. This would be fine, except that Smug-Hub sleeps like the dead and wouldn't wake up if the poor boy were crying! The crying would, however, wake Smug-Baby and then she would be in a crap-tastic mood all morning!

I actually speak from experience on this! Smug-Hub would have to get up (and stay up, which is the bigger issue) to be available for the kids and he doesn't seem capable of this.

Now, for the bright side; in about 18 short months, my son will be to the stage my daughter is now. She is currently playing on her own for longer stretches that allow me time for tasks not focused completely on her. When my son also reaches this stage in his development, and my daughter is even more self-sufficient, then I will have a lot more time to devote to my home and myself.

18 months isn't that long a time and do I really want to spend this very short, little baby time in my son's life on a cleaning routine? The dirt will still be there waiting for me when he is a bit older. My body will still have the ability to get back into shape.

Other good news? I am really getting comfortable with my morning, afternoon and evening routines that keep the clutter at bay and the cockroaches out of my kitchen. The house looks mostly decent, if not deeply clean, we have clean clothes, clean dishes and a clean place to bathe.

So, I am still flying, I am still going to keep up with my daily tasks and keep my house clutter free (mostly) and fairly clean. I am still going to keep my eyes and mind open to any spaces of free time that present themselves to dig into a deeper task that needs doing. But the change comes in my mindset. I choose to have a less than pristine home. I choose to have a flabby body. I choose to spend this amazing, fleeting time while my children are very small soaking up their newness, bathing in their development and floating in their love.

My Son

When Smug-Baby was born, I posted almost daily about her progress and monthly updates of what she was doing and any milestones for that month. Here it is, the day before my son turns 5 months old and I haven't posted even one month about him and how he is doing and growing.

I'm ashamed! I swore I wouldn't be the typical parent who takes thousands of pictures of the first child and none of the second. I wouldn't be the mom who filled up the baby book for the first and didn't even buy one for the second. But that is just what I have become. I'm too busy and too tired and all the other excuses... That being said,

My son is one super amazing kid! He asks so little of me, hardly ever cries and sits happily while I get stuff down around the house. He is currently fighting some mucus and is coughing a bit and has a slightly runny nose. He is also being very fussy the last few days, drooling and chewing on everything, so I feel like teething may be upon us.

He is still sleeping really well at night, waking only to latch on and never is even really awake, just eyes closed, searching for the breast. He rolled over for the first time on September 8th and has started pushing himself around the floor by a mixture of rolling and scooting on his head!

He is such a happy baby and smiles at everyone. He does this little shy guy thing, where he will look at someone, smile and then turn his head into my shoulder like he is shy and flirty. It's totally cute!

He will reach up and grab my face when I lean in for kisses and suck on my cheeks or nose, whatever he can angle into his mouth. When he gets really hungry and I get him latched on to nurse, he will always suck really hard for a few seconds and then pull off to smile at me with love and appreciation. This often results in him getting a face full of squirting milk, but he doesn't care :)

 

Learning to Fly

Well, I have been working on my routines and creating my control journal for the last few weeks and its coming along nicely. By that, I mean that I am getting myself in the habit of things and working on my "hot spots" (areas that tend to collect clutter and/or are especially getting on my nerves). I have been working on adding one or two new items to the morning, afternoon or even routines to help incorporate that item into my daily life and help make it a habit.

The biggest thing that I was nervous about was trying to jump in with both feet and then getting burned out. It doesn't sound like much to do 15 minutes a day in some area of your house, but add to that a morning routine that includes scrubbing the shower walls and cleaning the toilet and an afternoon routine that includes a clutter check (running around the house picking up toys and other items out of place) and an after dinner routine that includes sweeping the kitchen floor and running the swiffer in the bathroom floor and it gets to be a bit overwhelming. So, I started with the evening routine first, creating just what I wanted to include and did only that for a week. Once it seemed like it was working OK (it did require some tweaking to get it to fit into our lives just right), I moved on to the morning routine and created that just the way I wanted it and did that for a week or so.

Then, I started putting things down on paper and started typing up my checklists and working on a daily plan. I created Zones for my house (they are different than the way FlyLady set up her zones, but my zones work for my house and my plans). These are the different areas of the house that I will focus on during a given week. For example, Zone 6 is the car and the garage and will include cleaning out the trash from the car and washing the car and cleaning the junk out of the garage and hopefully purging unneeded items and so on. This means that every 6th week, my car and garage will be getting clean. This 6 week rotation means that every area of my house will be getting a deeper cleaning and organizing every 6 weeks. The goal is that after a few rotations, the areas will be/stay organized and the time spent on the area will get shorter.

The goal is to have a home that is mostly always clean and organized as well as having routines in place that make it like your home almost cleans itself. For example, my bathroom. I am never going to clean my bathroom again. This is because, as part of my morning routine, I scrub the shower walls while I am letting conditioner soak into my hair. It takes about 90 seconds. After I get out of the shower, I wipe down the sink and counter. After I am dressed, I wipe down the outside of the toilet and put cleaner into the bowl. All this takes about 2 minutes. As part of the evening routine, I scrub out the tub, this is because Smug-Baby hates hair and all things "yucky" in her bath, so this cleans the tub daily and removes any hair and whatnot from Smug-Hub's and my showers that morning. While she is in the bath I run the swiffer vacuum over the bathroom floor. Scrubbing the tub takes 45 seconds and another 60 seconds on the floor and my bathroom has been totally cleaned and is clean each day and build up never happens. Noe, on Monday's I have as my daily task to clean the mirror (45 seconds) and wipe the base of the toilet (30 seconds). That's it, a matter of a few seconds daily and I never have to clean my bathroom!

My daily breakdown includes time to work on my daily task (something that has to get done that particular day, like collecting the trash on Tuesday's or washing diapers on Wednesday's) as well as two 15 minute slots to work on that week's zone. I have my day broken down into a loose routine for various sections of the day; example: 9:30-11:30, spend 15 minutes on daily task, spend 15 minutes on the weekly zone, snack for the kids, clean up snack, change diapers before nap time. It certainly doesn't take 2 solid hours to complete these thing, but my life needs a lot of open time to spend playing with and cuddling the children in my life.

My goal for this week has been to add water back into my day. I realized that I have only been going pee once or twice during the day and given that I am a nursing mother, I need a whole lot more water than a sip here and there. So, I set alarms on my phone to remind me to drink water several times during the day. The hope is that this too will become habit.

I have a few more things to add into my life. I haven't started working on my zones yet. I have them worked out and the checklists created, but haven't started them That starts next week, now that I have the other routines under my belt. I also need to get back into a workout plan. I had been walking the treadmill in the mornings, but then the treadmill got covered with junk :)

The goal this weekend is to get the downstairs room clean enough that the treadmill is usable and start walking daily next week.

Once I incorporate the zone cleaning and the working out, my plan of action will be complete!

The nice thing about this plan is that, if I have to skip a day on wiping down the bathroom sink for example, I just pick up again the next day without it causing a huge backlog or making me totally behind. The zones are designed to be worked on in repeat. As in, if you don't complete everything on the checklist for that zone by the end of the week, you just pick up where you left off the next time that zone comes around.

A plan like this is very forgiving and if you fall off one day or week, just pick back up where you left off. Eventually, you will get to everything and get where you want to be. Give it time!!

Control Journal

One of the things that FlyLady suggests, that I am currently working on, is to create a Control Journal. This should contain a calender, the detailed cleaning check sheets for the various "Zones", morning and before bed routines (and other routines that you find helpful), a daily schedule checklist, and anything else that you find helpful to have at your fingertips. I am going to include my 25 meal dinner rotation, breakfast and lunch rotations, a master grocery list and the bedtime routines for the kids. FlyLady suggests keeping a list of important birthdays, addresses and inspirational quotes in the control journal too. I also think that I am going to create a personal care checklist too, to make sure that I'm getting enough greens, fruit, water and take my vitamins. A workout checklist would make a good addition too.

I have a three-ring binder and I think that once I get my hand-written routines and checklists ironed out and just the way I want them, I'll type everything up and have the pages laminated so I check things off with a dry erase marker and re-use them over and over.

As for getting myself started, I am still making sure that the sink is shinny before I go to bed! I am working on trying out the various routines and schedules and seeing what works and what doesn't to make sure that I am setting realistic goals and tasks for myself.

I feel so much more productive just working on a plan of action! I'm excited about getting this house back into an organized and clean place. I think that with having all the kids here during the day make it hard to get things done or keep things cleaned up. Having small sections of time (only 15 minutes at a go) set aside for the housework is helpful as I don't feel like I'm neglecting either my house or the children.

We are going to visit Smug-Hub's family soon, and I hope to have my routines and checklists ironed out so when we get back I can jump in with both feet and really make a dent in this dirty house! I hope to enlist Smug-Hub's help to give the house a good once over cleaning this weekend so I can work on the deeper stuff and keeping up with the new routines when we get back.

On the sleeping front with Smug-Baby, she is going to sleep better than she was. I'm not sure why, but I have been trying to get her outside some each day to let her run off energy and I'm also putting her down for a nap later and bedtime later than I had been. Also, since I'm not sick anymore I have a lot more patience than I had a week or so ago. Maybe all these things are combining to help her sleep better.

I want to get some soft classical music CD's and play music for her while we read night time books and she falls asleep. I think that this will help not only relax her some for sleep, it will also create a noise barrier so she won't jerk wide awake at every household noise.

I'm not feeling like I'm 100% yet, but it feels good to have an action plan and be feeling like there a light at the end of this recent tunnel of feeling overwhelmed.

FLYing - Day 1

I was visiting with my friend this weekend and she mentioned Flylady.net. I had never heard about this site, but when it was described to me, I knew I had to look into it further! Basically, its a get organized plan, but breaks thing down into small manageable tasks and you start off with one new habit a day for the first month. The first day is simply to shine your sink. But it is way more than just shining your sink, its a small step toward starting fresh! You take a good long time to clean out the sink, soak it with bleach and scrub it out, but then it really does shine and you are filled with this desire to keep it looking that way!

Yesterday morning, I shined my sink! I cleaned up the kitchen and strove to keep it clean all day. By the time I went to bed last night, the whole kitchen was clean, the dishwasher was running and the pots and overflow dishes washed and put away,the stove and counter tops wiped, the sink was shiny and the floor swept. I felt such a sense of accomplishment!! It has been a long time since I really felt like I was on the path to getting things together and into a workable routine!

I also spent some time working on several "to do" lists for various routines throughout the day. For example, a morning routine, an after dinner routine and a before bed routine. I also started working out a more strict routine for Smug-Baby's bedtime. It a start!

I have been feeling really dejected lately with the state of the house and the lack of routines in our house. It has caused me to feel depressed and like I am under a huge weight that I can't get out from under. I also feel like most of what I do try to get done is a waste because as soon as I, say, clean under the dining room table, some small person needs to eat again and under the table is covered in crumbs again. Why even bother?

Today's new habit is to continue to keep the kitchen sink shiny as well as to get dressed fully, down to shoes. The thinking behind this habit is to make you feel ready for the day! I am excited to get back on the path of organization and running my home!

Life as I know it

So, life has gotten a bit complex and I am still adjusting to all the new aspects and struggling with my schedule, but overall it has been working pretty well! I am keeping both my niece and my neighbor's son during the day now and keeping them all happy and fed and getting naps and so on with an infant in tow is sometimes so hard I don't know if I will make it minute to minute. I am trying to get into a regimented schedule so that everyone learns the routine and doesn't fight me on it.

I am trying to find balance between face time with the kids, quality time with Smug-Baby, time for Little-Smug to be out of the carrier and having his own quality time, and still keep the house from falling down around my ears.

I set it up so that I have one or two housework things to do each day. I make sure that when the older kids are napping, I have Little-Smug out of the carrier and he has some naked butt time and some coo and talk with mama time. He also gets this when Smug-Baby has her nightly bath too. My neighbor's son naps between 10 and 10:30 and sleeps a really long time, like until 1!! I get the girls down around 11:30-12:00 and they sleep until about 1. After everyone is up, we all have lunch and play inside or out. The little man is picked up about 2 and Smug-Niece isn't picked up until much later, so I try to use the time with just the two of them to play and tickle and chase them around the house or take them outside to the swing set. Then, I get started on dinner. I try to get Smug-Baby's dinner finished and her into the bath by about 6:45 and then we settle down in her room and read books until Smug-Hub gets home. He takes over with Little-Smug and I turn off the lights and lay with Smug-Baby until she is asleep. The goal is to have her asleep by 8. This gives Smug-Hub and I a few hours to be together and hang out with Little-Smug and I try to get into bed by about 10, provided Little-Smug is sleeping by then :)

I was talking with several other moms and reading about what works and doesn't work for others so I thought that I would post my weekly schedule in the hopes that some of what I have found to work will work for others.

I try to start the day with a walk on the treadmill for about 30 minutes, I generally only do 2-3 times a week because depending on the way the night went, if I need the extra sleep I want to be allowed to take it. After my walk, I shower and get myself dressed. Then I work on getting the kids up and dressed for the day and start on breakfast. My sister is generally here before I have breakfast on the table and we chat for a bit before she heads out and my neighbor's son arrives. I try to front load the mornings and get my daily "chores" out of the way early. This way, if things kind of fall apart, I have the whole day to play catch up.

Monday - this is laundry day, I wash all the sheets and towels weekly and the rugs monthly. I also wash the kitchen washcloths and towels and drying pads. As a side note, I also run a load during the week whenever a basket gets full to help keep from spending the day doing 8-10 loads!! Monday is also the day I work on putting up the food from the CSA we got over the weekend. I cut and steam and otherwise prep the veggies and put them in freezer bags. I also spend some time working with the menus for the week, getting the veggies we are eating that week ready. Like chopping carrots and measuring out what I need for a recipe and so on. Monday is my biggest day of the week.

Tuesday - This is trash day (well, its Wednesday, but has to be taken down Tuesday evening). I collect all the cans from all over the house and I take out the weekly recycling. This is also the day I clean out anything spoiled from the fridge and go through paperwork and mail that I may not have gotten to so I have as much of the clutter and trash picked up and taken out.

Wednesday - I wash  diapers and make up wipes on Wednesday. I use cloth diapers and wipes and the wipes live in a nice wipe warmer. I make up a solution of olive oil, baby wash and hot water. Then I soak the wipes in the solution and fill the warmer. I wash the cloth diapers, by running them through a cold rinse, than a hot wash and lastly a hot rinse before drying and then putting all the inserts into the pockets and putting everything away.

Thursday - I clean the bathrooms on Thursday. We have two, but the guest bath I only really clean monthly because it isn't used much at all. This involves, the toilet, the tub, sink and mirror. I don't clean the floor because I do all the floors on Friday. This is a hard day, because I don't want the kids part of cleaning since there are chemicals, but I don't want to do it during the naps because 1) this is my only time each day for fun play time with my son and to eat my own lunch and 2) the bathroom is right between the bedrooms where everyone is sleeping and I worry that it would wake them.

Friday - I clean the floors which involves vacuuming the carpets and sweeping and mopping the kitchen and bathroom floors. I also dust everything. This is kind of the big house cleaning day, even though it doesn't take long. I do try to run the sweeper in the kitchen every evening and will vacuum if something is really looking bad and I know that I should be vacuuming more often with all the kids, but time is valuable and some days it just doesn't happen, but Friday is the day and everything gets cleaned. This is also my frustrating day, because within about 9 seconds of mopping the kitchen, someone has gotten crumbs all over the place and within about 2.3 seconds of vacuuming the dining room (BTW - who's messed up idea was it to put carpet in the dining room of this house?!?!?!?) someone has dropped potato salad!

This allows to to spend most of the weekend having quality time with my family and not doing house work. I still grocery shop on the weekends and do another load of diapers and wipes, but my biggest goal for the weekend if fun family time all together. We can get together with the grandparents or go on a day trip or just sit around and watch cartoons!

I'm tired just reading through all that! I have a lot of frustration with this stuff sometimes and I have a breakdown and do some crying just about every week, but I try to remember that the trying times will pass and I am able to be home with my children and raise them just how I want to and with that comes challenges. I don't always keep my cool with my daughter as she seems to know just what to do to send me into orbit, but I always try. I'm not perfect and I know I do some stuff totally wrong. I can only try and remember that this hard moment will pass and I will make it though.
 

Cleared

I have been cleared by the doctor and my son is officially 6 weeks old so I can resume normal activities including exercise! I plan on getting the treadmill over here in the next few days (since my MIL is still here and the treadmill is going to take up a lot of "her" room, I don't want to get it until she leaves) and I have a line on a free mom and kid fitness class at a local park on Thursday's. I also want to plan on getting outside in the evenings with the kids for an after dinner walk or something.

I have also been giving a lot of thought to meal and snack planning and daily activities. I really like the idea of getting back to my daily and weekly task lists and I want to start incorporating some learning activities for Smug-Baby too. I would like to have some scheduled time to work on letters and numbers and colors along with some music (both dancing to and playing some instruments) and some cooking. She is getting old enough to help in the kitchen!

I am also going to keep Smug-Niece this coming week as a trial and may be keeping her long term so I want to have some activities to stimulate their little minds and keep them out of trouble :) I am also in talks to maybe keep my neighbor's son in the fall and if I end up keeping both, I will need to have some structure in place to keep things running smoothly.

I am also thinking about how to make my family's meals way more healthy without spending hours in the kitchen or having to purchase oddball, expensive ingredients! I would love to get Smug-Baby helping make her afternoon snack each day and have it be something I can be proud to have her eat! I have to find some time to get myself organized and set up for success, but I have all these wonderful ideas of how to sneak veggies into meals and snacks as well as using my CSA food for better applications.

In an ideal world, my day will look something like this:

Monday:
6-8am Treadmill, Yoga, Feed Little-Smug, shower and get dressed
8-9am Make, eat and clean up breakfast (brush teeth and take vitamins)
9-9:30 Collect, sort and start laundry
9:30-10 Do number sheets (coloring, counting songs, etc.)
10-11 Play together and work on laundry
11-12 Make, eat and clean up lunch
12-1 Get children down for naps
1-2 Mommy free time (blog, catch up on reader, pay bills, make phone calls, etc.)
2-3 Make a snack together for the kids
3-4 Play music (dancing and playing instruments)
4-5 Finish laundry and put everything away
5-6 Make, eat and clean up dinner
6-7 Straighten up the house and finish anything still outstanding
7-8 Bath, brush teeth and get everyone ready for bed
8-9 Reading books and other calm activities before bed
9-10 Everyone to sleep!

Meals:
Breakfast - Steal Cut Oats, fruit, and toast
Lunch - leftovers for me, PB and banana, applesauce and cucumbers for the kids
Dinner - Indian Shepard's Pie (with carrot and beet puree), Salad
Dessert - Raspberry Oat Bars (with squash puree)

The goal is to complete something educational and physical for the kids, make and eat healthy, low junk meals with a large variety of veggies, complete a household cleaning task to keep the house clean and straight, and include some structured exercise for me each day. I think that seems fairly doable and well rounded as well as providing ample time to complete tasks. 

Like I said, I need to put some time and energy into creating menus and "lesson" plans and the like, but I am so excited to be fully able to do whatever I want!!