Control Journal

One of the things that FlyLady suggests, that I am currently working on, is to create a Control Journal. This should contain a calender, the detailed cleaning check sheets for the various "Zones", morning and before bed routines (and other routines that you find helpful), a daily schedule checklist, and anything else that you find helpful to have at your fingertips. I am going to include my 25 meal dinner rotation, breakfast and lunch rotations, a master grocery list and the bedtime routines for the kids. FlyLady suggests keeping a list of important birthdays, addresses and inspirational quotes in the control journal too. I also think that I am going to create a personal care checklist too, to make sure that I'm getting enough greens, fruit, water and take my vitamins. A workout checklist would make a good addition too.

I have a three-ring binder and I think that once I get my hand-written routines and checklists ironed out and just the way I want them, I'll type everything up and have the pages laminated so I check things off with a dry erase marker and re-use them over and over.

As for getting myself started, I am still making sure that the sink is shinny before I go to bed! I am working on trying out the various routines and schedules and seeing what works and what doesn't to make sure that I am setting realistic goals and tasks for myself.

I feel so much more productive just working on a plan of action! I'm excited about getting this house back into an organized and clean place. I think that with having all the kids here during the day make it hard to get things done or keep things cleaned up. Having small sections of time (only 15 minutes at a go) set aside for the housework is helpful as I don't feel like I'm neglecting either my house or the children.

We are going to visit Smug-Hub's family soon, and I hope to have my routines and checklists ironed out so when we get back I can jump in with both feet and really make a dent in this dirty house! I hope to enlist Smug-Hub's help to give the house a good once over cleaning this weekend so I can work on the deeper stuff and keeping up with the new routines when we get back.

On the sleeping front with Smug-Baby, she is going to sleep better than she was. I'm not sure why, but I have been trying to get her outside some each day to let her run off energy and I'm also putting her down for a nap later and bedtime later than I had been. Also, since I'm not sick anymore I have a lot more patience than I had a week or so ago. Maybe all these things are combining to help her sleep better.

I want to get some soft classical music CD's and play music for her while we read night time books and she falls asleep. I think that this will help not only relax her some for sleep, it will also create a noise barrier so she won't jerk wide awake at every household noise.

I'm not feeling like I'm 100% yet, but it feels good to have an action plan and be feeling like there a light at the end of this recent tunnel of feeling overwhelmed.

FLYing - Day 1

I was visiting with my friend this weekend and she mentioned Flylady.net. I had never heard about this site, but when it was described to me, I knew I had to look into it further! Basically, its a get organized plan, but breaks thing down into small manageable tasks and you start off with one new habit a day for the first month. The first day is simply to shine your sink. But it is way more than just shining your sink, its a small step toward starting fresh! You take a good long time to clean out the sink, soak it with bleach and scrub it out, but then it really does shine and you are filled with this desire to keep it looking that way!

Yesterday morning, I shined my sink! I cleaned up the kitchen and strove to keep it clean all day. By the time I went to bed last night, the whole kitchen was clean, the dishwasher was running and the pots and overflow dishes washed and put away,the stove and counter tops wiped, the sink was shiny and the floor swept. I felt such a sense of accomplishment!! It has been a long time since I really felt like I was on the path to getting things together and into a workable routine!

I also spent some time working on several "to do" lists for various routines throughout the day. For example, a morning routine, an after dinner routine and a before bed routine. I also started working out a more strict routine for Smug-Baby's bedtime. It a start!

I have been feeling really dejected lately with the state of the house and the lack of routines in our house. It has caused me to feel depressed and like I am under a huge weight that I can't get out from under. I also feel like most of what I do try to get done is a waste because as soon as I, say, clean under the dining room table, some small person needs to eat again and under the table is covered in crumbs again. Why even bother?

Today's new habit is to continue to keep the kitchen sink shiny as well as to get dressed fully, down to shoes. The thinking behind this habit is to make you feel ready for the day! I am excited to get back on the path of organization and running my home!

Life as I know it

So, life has gotten a bit complex and I am still adjusting to all the new aspects and struggling with my schedule, but overall it has been working pretty well! I am keeping both my niece and my neighbor's son during the day now and keeping them all happy and fed and getting naps and so on with an infant in tow is sometimes so hard I don't know if I will make it minute to minute. I am trying to get into a regimented schedule so that everyone learns the routine and doesn't fight me on it.

I am trying to find balance between face time with the kids, quality time with Smug-Baby, time for Little-Smug to be out of the carrier and having his own quality time, and still keep the house from falling down around my ears.

I set it up so that I have one or two housework things to do each day. I make sure that when the older kids are napping, I have Little-Smug out of the carrier and he has some naked butt time and some coo and talk with mama time. He also gets this when Smug-Baby has her nightly bath too. My neighbor's son naps between 10 and 10:30 and sleeps a really long time, like until 1!! I get the girls down around 11:30-12:00 and they sleep until about 1. After everyone is up, we all have lunch and play inside or out. The little man is picked up about 2 and Smug-Niece isn't picked up until much later, so I try to use the time with just the two of them to play and tickle and chase them around the house or take them outside to the swing set. Then, I get started on dinner. I try to get Smug-Baby's dinner finished and her into the bath by about 6:45 and then we settle down in her room and read books until Smug-Hub gets home. He takes over with Little-Smug and I turn off the lights and lay with Smug-Baby until she is asleep. The goal is to have her asleep by 8. This gives Smug-Hub and I a few hours to be together and hang out with Little-Smug and I try to get into bed by about 10, provided Little-Smug is sleeping by then :)

I was talking with several other moms and reading about what works and doesn't work for others so I thought that I would post my weekly schedule in the hopes that some of what I have found to work will work for others.

I try to start the day with a walk on the treadmill for about 30 minutes, I generally only do 2-3 times a week because depending on the way the night went, if I need the extra sleep I want to be allowed to take it. After my walk, I shower and get myself dressed. Then I work on getting the kids up and dressed for the day and start on breakfast. My sister is generally here before I have breakfast on the table and we chat for a bit before she heads out and my neighbor's son arrives. I try to front load the mornings and get my daily "chores" out of the way early. This way, if things kind of fall apart, I have the whole day to play catch up.

Monday - this is laundry day, I wash all the sheets and towels weekly and the rugs monthly. I also wash the kitchen washcloths and towels and drying pads. As a side note, I also run a load during the week whenever a basket gets full to help keep from spending the day doing 8-10 loads!! Monday is also the day I work on putting up the food from the CSA we got over the weekend. I cut and steam and otherwise prep the veggies and put them in freezer bags. I also spend some time working with the menus for the week, getting the veggies we are eating that week ready. Like chopping carrots and measuring out what I need for a recipe and so on. Monday is my biggest day of the week.

Tuesday - This is trash day (well, its Wednesday, but has to be taken down Tuesday evening). I collect all the cans from all over the house and I take out the weekly recycling. This is also the day I clean out anything spoiled from the fridge and go through paperwork and mail that I may not have gotten to so I have as much of the clutter and trash picked up and taken out.

Wednesday - I wash  diapers and make up wipes on Wednesday. I use cloth diapers and wipes and the wipes live in a nice wipe warmer. I make up a solution of olive oil, baby wash and hot water. Then I soak the wipes in the solution and fill the warmer. I wash the cloth diapers, by running them through a cold rinse, than a hot wash and lastly a hot rinse before drying and then putting all the inserts into the pockets and putting everything away.

Thursday - I clean the bathrooms on Thursday. We have two, but the guest bath I only really clean monthly because it isn't used much at all. This involves, the toilet, the tub, sink and mirror. I don't clean the floor because I do all the floors on Friday. This is a hard day, because I don't want the kids part of cleaning since there are chemicals, but I don't want to do it during the naps because 1) this is my only time each day for fun play time with my son and to eat my own lunch and 2) the bathroom is right between the bedrooms where everyone is sleeping and I worry that it would wake them.

Friday - I clean the floors which involves vacuuming the carpets and sweeping and mopping the kitchen and bathroom floors. I also dust everything. This is kind of the big house cleaning day, even though it doesn't take long. I do try to run the sweeper in the kitchen every evening and will vacuum if something is really looking bad and I know that I should be vacuuming more often with all the kids, but time is valuable and some days it just doesn't happen, but Friday is the day and everything gets cleaned. This is also my frustrating day, because within about 9 seconds of mopping the kitchen, someone has gotten crumbs all over the place and within about 2.3 seconds of vacuuming the dining room (BTW - who's messed up idea was it to put carpet in the dining room of this house?!?!?!?) someone has dropped potato salad!

This allows to to spend most of the weekend having quality time with my family and not doing house work. I still grocery shop on the weekends and do another load of diapers and wipes, but my biggest goal for the weekend if fun family time all together. We can get together with the grandparents or go on a day trip or just sit around and watch cartoons!

I'm tired just reading through all that! I have a lot of frustration with this stuff sometimes and I have a breakdown and do some crying just about every week, but I try to remember that the trying times will pass and I am able to be home with my children and raise them just how I want to and with that comes challenges. I don't always keep my cool with my daughter as she seems to know just what to do to send me into orbit, but I always try. I'm not perfect and I know I do some stuff totally wrong. I can only try and remember that this hard moment will pass and I will make it though.
 

Cleared

I have been cleared by the doctor and my son is officially 6 weeks old so I can resume normal activities including exercise! I plan on getting the treadmill over here in the next few days (since my MIL is still here and the treadmill is going to take up a lot of "her" room, I don't want to get it until she leaves) and I have a line on a free mom and kid fitness class at a local park on Thursday's. I also want to plan on getting outside in the evenings with the kids for an after dinner walk or something.

I have also been giving a lot of thought to meal and snack planning and daily activities. I really like the idea of getting back to my daily and weekly task lists and I want to start incorporating some learning activities for Smug-Baby too. I would like to have some scheduled time to work on letters and numbers and colors along with some music (both dancing to and playing some instruments) and some cooking. She is getting old enough to help in the kitchen!

I am also going to keep Smug-Niece this coming week as a trial and may be keeping her long term so I want to have some activities to stimulate their little minds and keep them out of trouble :) I am also in talks to maybe keep my neighbor's son in the fall and if I end up keeping both, I will need to have some structure in place to keep things running smoothly.

I am also thinking about how to make my family's meals way more healthy without spending hours in the kitchen or having to purchase oddball, expensive ingredients! I would love to get Smug-Baby helping make her afternoon snack each day and have it be something I can be proud to have her eat! I have to find some time to get myself organized and set up for success, but I have all these wonderful ideas of how to sneak veggies into meals and snacks as well as using my CSA food for better applications.

In an ideal world, my day will look something like this:

Monday:
6-8am Treadmill, Yoga, Feed Little-Smug, shower and get dressed
8-9am Make, eat and clean up breakfast (brush teeth and take vitamins)
9-9:30 Collect, sort and start laundry
9:30-10 Do number sheets (coloring, counting songs, etc.)
10-11 Play together and work on laundry
11-12 Make, eat and clean up lunch
12-1 Get children down for naps
1-2 Mommy free time (blog, catch up on reader, pay bills, make phone calls, etc.)
2-3 Make a snack together for the kids
3-4 Play music (dancing and playing instruments)
4-5 Finish laundry and put everything away
5-6 Make, eat and clean up dinner
6-7 Straighten up the house and finish anything still outstanding
7-8 Bath, brush teeth and get everyone ready for bed
8-9 Reading books and other calm activities before bed
9-10 Everyone to sleep!

Meals:
Breakfast - Steal Cut Oats, fruit, and toast
Lunch - leftovers for me, PB and banana, applesauce and cucumbers for the kids
Dinner - Indian Shepard's Pie (with carrot and beet puree), Salad
Dessert - Raspberry Oat Bars (with squash puree)

The goal is to complete something educational and physical for the kids, make and eat healthy, low junk meals with a large variety of veggies, complete a household cleaning task to keep the house clean and straight, and include some structured exercise for me each day. I think that seems fairly doable and well rounded as well as providing ample time to complete tasks. 

Like I said, I need to put some time and energy into creating menus and "lesson" plans and the like, but I am so excited to be fully able to do whatever I want!!

Aching for Exercise

I have a few more weeks until I can be cleared to be fully normal and recovered from the birth of Little-Smug and I am chomping at the bit to be able to incorporate exercise back into my daily schedule. I want to take daily walks with mom and the kids, I want to bike some, I want to start running on the treadmill and I want to try out the weekly mom's exercise group!!

I normally don't care much for exercise, but I think that not being allowed to do it makes me want to do it all the more! Also, I have gotten sick. I have had a nasty sore throat and horrible headache for several days and have now developed a runny nose and cough. I know that it is stress and lack of sleep and the overarching adjustment of new life that has lowered my immunity. I know that getting through the next few weeks and being cleared for normal activity will help me immensely.

My husband's mother is here visiting for the next several weeks and while she is a great help with both the stuff around the house and with the children, Smug-Baby's behavior has gotten a lot worse since MIL's arrival. I remember my mother complaining when I was a child that when we had company, us kids always took that opportunity to act up and act out and were just terrible and she lamented that people must believe that she was raising horribly behaved children when we were normally such good kids who were polite, helpful and nice to each other. I feel like Smug-Baby's behavior is about the same thing, she is testing me and Grandma to see what she can get away with. She is also working on her last molar and that has been horrible.

Little-Smug is VERY sensitive to dairy. I had some cheese on my eggs on Sunday and within a few hours he crying a lot, spitting up more and just very fussy. A few days later and he is still fussy and has developed a stuffed up nose and goopy eye. He may also be sensitive to soy, so I am working on making sure that I am cutting dairy out completely and soy as much as I can. I hate that he is feeling badly because I wasn't strong enough to say no to some cheese!!

We are heading out of town this weekend and it will be Little-Smug's first long trip but I hope that it will be worth it. It will be the first time the family will meet him and I am really looking forward to showing him off! My MIL will come with us and I know that everyone will love to see her and she will enjoy the colorful ways of my family!!

When we get back we will have about a week more of my MIL's visit and then once she has gone home and I am cleared for exercise, I will work on a daily and weekly schedule and start getting myself into a routine that makes me happy!!!

Stay at Home Mom

This is the 4th week of being the mother of two children and I finally feel like I am starting to get into a routine and things are settling down a bit. The days are still tough but more manageable. I am still feeling a little cooped up but getting out for story time, Melody Makers and a mommy's group this week have helped and I think that having things to do has given me more of a feeling of purpose. It has helped me to be more productive at home too.

Now that I have almost a month of post-natal recovery under my belt I feel more comfortable pushing myself a little bit and doing a little bit more. That has helped with my frustration level, which in turn has helped my level of patience with Smug-Baby.

Speaking of Smug-Baby, today she was playing in the tub and suddenly she grabbed her face and started screaming. I grabbed her and asked her to use my finger to show me where it hurt. She pointed to her cheek and I surmised that her last two-year molar is finally starting to cut through. She has done this, grabbing her face and screaming thing several times today and I feel so badly for her. I gave her some medicine to help and she is now napping. I wonder if this pain is why she hasn't been sleeping well and been so cranky.

Little-Smug is just amazing! He is so calm, rarely cries and has never had a total meltdown or scream-fest. He doesn't seem to mind that Smug-Baby covers him in kisses! He nurses well and sleeps well and even rides in his car seat well most of the time. I never thought Smug-Baby was a high-needs or difficult baby, but Little-Smug is SO much less work!! Nothing bothers this kid!!

As for me, I'm anxious to get back to full strength and full energy. I want to put together a workout plan, start walking with mom, biking with dad and maybe even starting a running regimen. Dad has a treadmill that is collecting dust in the garage and I think that I will ask about borrowing it for a while. I want to get into shape! I know that I have been struggling to do that all my life but I now have aches and pains I didn't have before, and I have two really small children that I need to keep up with, so I really need to get to a place physically where I can do that!

The Birth of my Son

I can't believe that it has been so long since I have posted, but a lot has happened and I have been under water trying to adjust. First things first, I had a baby!!

It was the morning of June 2 and at 4:14am I got up to pee. When I came back to bed and laid down, I felt a contraction. It was rather strong and more on the painful side than the other Braxton Hicks contractions had been and after it passed I felt sick to my stomach. I thought to myself that perhaps the pizza I had for dinner the night before wasn't agreeing with me. I headed back to the bathroom and even heaved a bit although nothing came up. I had two more of these nausea inducing contractions and by this time it was about 4:45. Smug-Baby woke up and came to sit on my lap (while I was still on the toilet mind you) and her moving around brought on another contraction. I pulled out my phone and timed them and I had two that were close to 10 minutes between them and then 4 minutes and then 7 minutes - sporadic to say the least. It was now 5am and I decided to get into the shower and see if that helped and I noticed bloody discharge. I called to Smug-Hub and asked him to call the midwife. He asked if I was sure I was in labor and I told him no. I got into the shower but almost immediately got out so I could talk to the midwife myself.

We decided that we should go on into the hospital and meet the midwife there since I knew I needed to be there at least 4 hours to get the antibiotics required because I tested positive for Group B. I called my Dad and told him to come over to watch Smug-Baby and then I got myself dressed, all the while it felt like the contractions were coming harder and closer together. I was still worried that I wasn't really in labor and just having a reaction to being sick to my stomach. Dad and my step-mom arrived just before 6am and Smug-Hub and I kissed Smug-Baby and headed to the hospital. By the time we were off the driveway I was sure I was in labor and Smug-Hub made the 7 minute drive in about 4 minutes, needing to run only one red light.

We called the midwife when we got off our drive way and it was 6:01, she was at the hospital and said she would let them know we were on the way. When we got there I limped myself to the desk and asked to use the bathroom. The midwife asked me why I thought I needed a bathroom and I told her that I felt like I was going to poop. She replied that the baby was coming and I remember thinking that I realized I was in labor but I still needed to poop!!

Someone brought a wheelchair and I laid myself sideways into it and tried to breathe through the now constant and very strong contractions. I couldn't seem to get ahead of them in order to focus my breathing and counting. They wheeled me into the elevator and I heard the midwife ask if they were able to deliver in the triage area, then I noticed I was being wheeled into a labor and delivery room instead. A nurse told me to get onto the bed so she could check me and she helped me with my shorts and laid down on my side again. Someone started an IV and I heard someone say "no cervix, bulging bag" I wondered if that meant she couldn't check dilation for some reason. Suddenly, my water broke and I remember feeling the gush of warm fluid and thinking that it as cool that I got to know what that felt like since I never remember my water breaking with Smug-Baby. Then I felt a burning, tightness and I started to scoot away from the doctor who I just knew was touching me and hurting me. She told me not to move away and it was only then I realized that my son's head was already coming out. I heard them say that the cord was wrapped twice, and I looked up to see her looping it over his head. Then my midwife told me to tuck my chin to my chest and push, I was still a little in shock that it was happening so fast because it took me a moment to comply. I guess I felt like they couldn't be serious or something. I only remember pushing once, maybe twice and then he was born!

The doctor suctioned him and he made a few little noises and then he was in my arms. I couldn't believe he was there and it was over! It was 6:19am!! He came so fast that he had a little bruising on his face, but wonder of wonders, I didn't tear at all! He was 9 pounds, 2 ounces!!

A nurse told me that my mom was there and could she come in, I said yes and when mom walked into the room, thinking that I was in labor, she say me holding my son and it was like a cartoon, her eyes bugged out and her jaw hit the floor. Smug-Hub got on the phone to ask Dad to bring Smug-Baby and got about the same reaction - after all we had just left the house less than 20 minutes earlier!!

We spent two days in the hospital because I had not had the time to receive the antibiotics and I spent the time nursing and bonding with my son. Smug-Hub spent most of that time with Smug-Baby making sure she was happy and had some one-on-one love too. Once home, we spent the first week bonding as a family. It was just what I had wanted, not a lot of visitors or company, just us getting to know each other.

Smug-Baby is head over heals in love with her brother and spends most of her days kissing him and holding him and talking or singing to him.



My days since getting home have been trying to rest and follow all the restrictions that I need to in order to recover fully and completely. It has been very hard since I don't really feel like I just had a baby! I feel totally fine!

It's been three weeks and I have three more to go until I can consider myself healed and able to resume doing everything I want to do and I am going to do my best not to push myself before then.

I am anxious to get into new routines and schedules and start adjusting fully to my new life as a mother of two.

As for my son, he is frickin' amazing! He is so calm and totally laid back. He rarely cries and seems to have a long fuse before getting upset. He sleeps well, nurses well and doesn't blink an eye when Smug-Baby has a meltdown and in crying and screaming right in his face. He has these amazing "wise" eyes and his jaw actually makes cracking sounds when he yawns. His hair is lighter than Smug-Baby's was when she was born and we can't tell what color his eyes are, they seem to be a hazel or lighter brown, not the deep chocolate like Smug-Baby. He is a totally different baby than she was and so relaxed it is just so cool!

I can hear him grunting a bit in his sleep now and that means he will be awake and wanting to poop and nurse and poop some more soon, so I will sign off. I will try to post more soon, but I'm not promising anything :)