Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Potty Training and Allergies

I need to get started potty training Smug-Baby. I know that the first step is to educate myself on the best way for us to get started and I have a book and I also have a few other things on request at the library. I know that I want to make sure that I have everything in line before we get started so we don't have any setbacks due to my not being ready. I know that Smug-Baby is totally ready!

I was thinking about it tonight and thinking that maybe having another potty or two around the house for easy access might be a good idea and wondering if I should get something in the way of disposable training pants and then it hit me - underwear! I should probably purchase some underwear!! From what I have read and discussed with others, once you start you never, ever go back to diapers, so getting a good supply of underwear might be one of those must do things!!

I think that I need to pick a weekend, take Friday and Monday off work (provided I am still employed at that point) and just do it!! Not plan to go anywhere just stay home and focus on getting her comfortable with going on the potty.

I have a portable potty seat that fits (badly) into the big seat so I can take that if we are going somewhere once she is trained and she already has a little potty that she sits on sometimes. I need to get the underwear, but what else??

I read a blog post from a woman who trained her son by giving him tons of juice and taking him to the potty every 10-15 minutes and he just peed all day long! This sounds like a good plan to me, but then I was reading online that being trained is all about being independent and the child recognizing that she/he needs to go without being constantly reminded by mom. Not sure how I am going to tackle this yet, I guess I need to buckle down and read the book I have and get those items from the library before I plan on anything.

The other thing that I am going to have to put some effort into if getting Smug-Baby off dairy. She is just like her mama - loves cheese more than anything else and pays for it with a runny nose and dry patches on her skin.

I know that MOST babies are sensitive to diary and other animal products but tend to gain a, lets say, resistance to it as time goes on, but in those that are more sensitive this allergy or intolerance results in a lot of respiratory issues (as dairy is highly mucus inducing) and as in mine and Smug-Baby's case, severely dry skin and some patches of VERY dry on the arms, legs and stomach.

I had hoped that she wouldn't have a sensitivity since we all love dairy so much, but as her skin has developed the dry patches that I get and her nose has started to run more than it doesn't I am convinced that she has and now I need to do something about it.

The first step will be to remove all animal products from her diet (eggs, dairy and meat) for two weeks. This will clear everything from her system and allow time for the runny nose and dry skin to clear up. Then I will add back eggs only at first. A few over a couple of days and watch her for reactions. If she's fine, then add a few bites of meat back into her diet. She doesn't eat much meat, so I don't really think that this is what she is reacting to, but I want to be sure. Lastly, if she doesn't have any reactions to the eggs and meat, then I will let her eat dairy a few times a day for a couple of days.

My guess is that she will react right away to the dairy and not at all to the eggs and meat, because that is the way I am, but I want to be sure that I find exactly what her triggers are.

During the "fasting" from animal products period I will need to find her some alternatives to some of her favorite dishes and clear them from the house. I know that Smug-Hub will have major issues with this, but he is going to have to get over it! He can deal for two weeks or so while we figure this out. So, I am listing below a few alternatives that I have thought of so far. Please comment if you have other suggestions or certain brands that you like.

Scrambled Eggs - scrambled tofu is actually very good and she has eaten it before. I think that it may take some convincing at first, but like anything she should get used to it. She normally has eggs and potatoes for her weekday breakfast with her daddy, so if they are both eating the tofu, she should be fine.

Mac and Cheese - this is a recent discovery of Smug-Baby's and she really loves it!! I have a few recipes for mac and cheese and there are boxed ones that are also dairy free, so that should actually be an easy switch.

Mashed Potatoes - this child may turn into a potato with all the potatoes she eats!! I can make them with Earth Balance and Silk Creamer instead of milk and butter, so again an easy switch.

Yogurt - I didn't realize that Smug-Hub was giving her yogurt until recently, but she loves it and will scarf down a whole container in moments! I have tried the Whole Soy brand with her and she doesn't really like it as much. She eats some, but not with the gusto of the "real" stuff. I am going to have to see about trying some other brands and find one that she likes.

Sweets - here is going to be hard, because Smug Mama is pregnant and sweets are kind of my weakness and when I get a craving I just about go nuts until I get something sweet. So, we have gotten used to having brownies, cake, cookies and ice cream in the house. I need to get some dairy-free alternatives in the house and get the "bad" stuff out! I need to do this for my sake and Little-Smug's as well as Smug-Baby's, but this will probably be the hardest for me to manage.

That's my list so far. I know that I will probably feel tons better myself once I get off animal products, but it is hard! There is so much that is so delicious out there!! It is hard to eat out and it is hard to have people over. All I think about it what I CAN'T have and that right there tells me that I have an addiction and I need to break free for my children and for myself!!

Now, I just have to do it... But first, let me finish those Girl Scout Cookies and that block of cheddar is just begging to be nachos!! oh dear....

Monday, February 27, 2012

Monday Again

As I sit here keeping an eye on the clock and listening to the sounds of silence in my sleeping house, I am filled with just how truly blessed I am to be living this exact life.

I worry sometimes about how we will get by once I lose my job, but the chance to stay home and raise my babies is all I have ever wanted to do and soon I will get to do just that! I have been planning the things that I will tackle between the lay-off and when Little-Smug joins the family on this side of my belly. There are days when the alarm goes off and I haven't slept well or Smug-Baby is curled so perfectly into my body that I can't bear the thought of working any longer and wish that the lay-off would hurry up and take effect already.

I worry about money, knowing that we are barely making the ends come together as it is and thinking about how best to arrange things so that we can keep our house and car and pay everything we need to once my income drops to $0. Then, I watch Smug-Baby run, unprompted, back into her grandparent's arms for one last round of kisses before we leave and I know that being her mom was the reason I was brought to this earth and I know in my heart that everything will work out just fine.

I know that things will be tight and there will be hardships and perhaps tough times in my relationship with Smug-Hub, but we love each other and can weather any storm together as long as we remember just how lucky we are to have created this amazing child between us. We gaze in awe at her as she says each new word, blows kisses for the first time, puts together a string of words to create something discernible, laughs as she understands something funny as being funny and says "funny" all at once. She is truly amazing and the greatest gift I have ever received.

Little-Smug is kicking me to remind his mama that he too is an amazing gift! I am so excited to meet this little man and see his eyes when he sees me for the first time! Last night, we played a game for the first time together. He would kick in a spot, so I would press on that spot and he would kick in the same spot again and I would press again. We did about 4 rounds before he got bored and swam off to the other side of his home for a while! He is there and he is working hard on growing and getting ready to meet us in a few months.

I can't imagine how life will change after he is born, but I can't remember what life was like before Smug-Baby came into it, so I guess this will be about the same. I mean, how did I spend my time before the routine of naps, playing with toy food, washing diapers, reading story books, the park and cuddling at night with someone so sweet!!

Two will be hard at first. I am told that there will be moments when you are not sure you will survive, but you do and then you will find that you can't imagine or remember life without them both.

I am truly blessed and lucky and I am off to greet the workday with an open heart and lightness of spirit!!

Happy Monday!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Weekend Plan

I am going to have an amazing weekend! I got up early this morning to get all packed and now that I am already to go, I have time for a quick post before I head off to work.

I am going to my friend's home to meet her daughter for the first time! Smug-Baby and I will head up there today as soon as I finish work and while I am packed to spend the night, I may just come home in the evening. I don't want to add any stress to my friend, she just had a baby and I know how tiring it can be to have visitors day in and day out and to add someone wanting clean towels to the mix can just be too much. We will play that part by ear!

The drive will take a little more than 90 minutes and I am thinking that Smug-Baby will nap most of the way and be happy once we arrive. Best laid plans and all, so we will see how that goes.

I picked up a little something for the new baby and a birthday gift for my friend's son, who turned two yesterday! I also picked up a new toy for Smug-Baby, thinking that she would be preoccupied with her own bag to dig into and let the boy open his own birthday gift!! Again, best laid plans...

I am so looking forward to seeing my friend! I haven't seen her since New Years and I miss her terribly! It is so hard to find people that you really connect with and don't drive you nuts on one level or another and while I am happy that she is happy in her new city, I really hate that she moved so far away!

We don't agree on every issue but the thing that makes this friendship great is that agreeing on every issue isn't the basis of our friendship and it simply doesn't matter to her that I think dairy is the devil that I can't seem to give up and I don't care that she eats meat! Our friendship is based on the fact that we both know what it is like to be seen as different and to feel judgment for our choices. We understand how much that hurts and how desperately we need to be loved and accepted for who we are and have it understood that we are making the best, most educated decisions about our lives, children, families and parenting styles as possible.

We may not do everything that same, but we are really on the same path of loving and caring about each other, not in spite of our differences but because of them.

All that being said, we really do agree on a lot of things and perhaps we would find it hard to be as fast friends if we were not on the same page about so much, but regardless I hold her very dear and I am so excited about seeing her!

I am also really excited to see how Smug-Baby reacts to the new baby. She has gotten very into babies lately, pointing them out when we see one and carrying around her baby books (the ones Santa brought her about being a big sister and having a new baby in the house). When you ask her where her baby brother is, often she will pat her own stomach. However, we aren't really around a lot of babies for any length of time so I am interested to see what she thinks of one up close.

Ok, I have to load all this stuff into the car and head off to work! Just a few short hours and I will be making faces at a new sweet and squishy baby of love!!! Have a great weekend everyone!!

Thursday, February 23, 2012


It may be the pregnancy hormones talking but I am not feeling the love lately. Smug-Hub is generally really great about putting himself in my shoes and seeing things from my side and we have always been able to come to a compromise about whatever we are disagreeing on by walking in the other's shoes for a bit.

Well, lately I am feeling like he is not at all interested in walking my shoes. He wants what he wants and is unwilling to even consider my feelings on the matter. I feel like he is so busy forming his response to what he thinks that I am going to say that he fails to even listen completely to my point. When I tried to talk to him about this, he cut me off to tell me how he is feeling.

One of the things that I think is important in a marriage is finding important the things that your partner finds important. That isn't to say that you have to suddenly become a Dallas Cowboy fan just because your husband his, but it does mean that you have to hand over the remote and maybe even watch the game with him when the Cowboys are playing instead of making him watch the Food Network.

I think that if something is important to Smug-Hub than I need to make it a priority to understand where he is coming from and try to give a little on my end to get us to a compromise. However, it is just as important that he find what I think is important also important and I am not feeling that from him lately.

I know that the adjustment to a new baby coming as well as the impending loss of my job has to be weighing heavily on him and I am concerned that rather than talking to me about his fears and concerns, he is just getting resentful; holding it all inside and trying to deal with it himself and that makes him preoccupied with his own stuff. Instead of talking out what is bothering him, he is just snappish.

I think that he feels like he is put upon at the moment with all his unexpressed worry and feels like that entitles him to be cut some slack in other areas. However, since this is just a guess on my part and I don't really know what is up with him, I just end up feeling taking advantage of and like what I want or need doesn't matter.

What I need is for people to take care of the pregnant chick right now! I don't want to have to coddle anyone's hurt feelings, stepped on toes, or perceived offencies. I want my husband and everyone else in my life to take a chill pill and understand that being pregnant is hard! Being pregnant with an early morning job and a full time toddler is super, freakin', crazy hard!! I need some love people!! I need Smug-Hub to get out of his own head, grow up and be the man of the family!! Put Smug-Baby and I before his own wants and needs!!!!

Maybe he feels like he is doing that and staying up late at night is his one concession, but I wouldn't know that because he isn't talking to me. Maybe he feels like since he has the weight of our financial future on his shoulders (which he doesn't, but maybe he feels that way) that I should give in to him when he wants something, but again, he isn't talking about anything deeper than what's for dinner!!

I know that I should be talking to him about all this and not venting here, but hey! this is what my blog is for - keeping track of my life and all that happens. The good, the great and the really sucky!

I love my husband and I think we have an amazing love and life together. It's not that I think he doesn't love me or want to be a good husband. I just think we are having a little rough patch and it's time for a sit down, open and honest discussion!!

Thanks for letting me bitch!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

She is Two!

Two years ago today, she made me a mother. She was perfect then and perhaps even more perfect now. I can't believe how much time has passed and how quickly! She has changed so much over the last year.

We had a birthday party for her this weekend and she was amazing! She was good as gold; sharing her toys, blowing out her candle (with some help), and opening her gifts. She faded quickly after people left and took a nice long nap, but during the actual party she was wonderful!
Below are several pictures from her party:

Above is one tried and happy party girl!!
She received wonderful gifts and she loves them all. The shopping cart was probably the biggest hit, after the balloons of course!! But she really does enjoy and play with everything she received!
My Smug-Baby is two! I can't believe it! She has learned so much over the last year and over the course of her whole life. She knows so many words now! She has full on opinions. She is courageous and has no fear when to comes to climbing something, jumping off of something or trying new things. As long as she has hold of mine or daddy's hand, she is confident to try almost anything!
She has decided what foods she likes (cream of wheat, lentil soup, cheese and everything else) and what she doesn't (almost nothing :) ) She knows what programs she likes on TV (Elmo, Peppa Pig, and newly Shrek!) She is full of love and hugs and kisses. She asks for kisses when something hurts, magic mommy kisses heal almost all wounds! She shares her toys and food with others, even when they don't want what she is offering.
She is my life and my love and I can't imagine spending more than a few hours away from her! I even get bored when she takes a long and nap and wish she would wake up so I would have someone to play with!
Someone asked if love at first sight exists and I say to you now - Oh yes! It totally does!!
Happy Birthday Peanut Butter Face!!!!

Friday, February 17, 2012

What The Heck Does That Mean???

I am off to work in a few moments, but I had a dream last night that I thought I should record before it left me.

I dreamed that I was participating in some contest where you get random people to pose with you for a picture in front of their house, holding a group of white flowers. I ended up at my old apartment (my first apartment actually), and was going to knock on the door to the downstairs apartment because these were, apparently, my old roommates (not true in real life). Instead, as I came up the stairs of the porch, the door to the upstairs apartment, my old apartment opened and my old boyfriend, Dave stepped out and said hello. I realized that he thought I was there to see him and I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I went upstairs with him.

I guess he had seen me coming up the sidewalk with flowers and got the wrong idea. The thing is, he looked terrible!! He was balding on top while letting the rest of his rapidly thinning hair grow long and straggly down to his shoulders (He always had thick hair). He was overweight by a lot (he was always very fit when we were together) and wearing a polyester suit, a la Napoleon Dynamite that was about 3-4 sizes too small.

You could see every pudge and roll and it was embarrassing to look at him. I think that is why I went along upstairs and let him think that I was there with flowers to make up or something because he just looked so bad and pathetic!

Anyway, we made small talk for a bit and I don't even remember anything except I asked him why he was still living in that rundown apartment so many years later, but I don't remember his response.

Next thing I know, I am downstairs. I guess I left Dave with the excuse that I needed to find my keys (what?) and went downstairs to try to get the picture I was originally there to get and ran into my old roommates, who just happened to be the full cast from The Big Bang Theory.

In this dream, we had all been roommates a long time ago and there was easy banter back and forth. Then Dave came in and yelled at me for pretending to look for my keys and leading him on.

That was the end of the dream and I am not sure why I woke up thinking about it, but I guess there is a part of me that would love to run into some of the people in my life who have hurt me and see a physical manifestation of the debt they are paying to Karma! I would also like the people who have hurt me to feel badly about it and say that they are sorry, but Dave didn't do that in this dream, he thought I was there to get back with him, which is to say that his ego appeared to be still fully intact!

I haven't thought about Dave much in the last several years, after all I haven't laid eyes on him since we broke up over 12 years ago. He did come up when we were considering David as a name for our son, but that was several weeks ago and I didn't give him another thought after Davy was discarded.

Maybe this dream has more to do with doing things for people because I feel sorry for them even when I don't want to than Dave specifically. I was there for another reason, but because I felt sorry for him I let myself be derailed from my plans. Hmmmm.... Except, I don't think that I do things for people because I feel sorry for them. I genuinely like helping people when and where I can (like holding a door for someone, or helping pick up when a stranger has dropped their stuff) and while sometimes it would be nice to have the favor returned (thank you to the dude who let the door slam on me while I was carrying my huge belly, a Smug-Baby, a diaper bag and several books!!), I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it.

Maybe dreams are just dreams and we shouldn't read too much into them... Too bad, I was sort of hoping that the dream I had about him:

Could somehow come true!!! :)

Happy Friday Everyone!

Sweet Dreams!!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Sickly Me

I am sick. I have been sick since Sunday, but it really hit me hard on Monday and Tuesday and I am just now feeling recovered enough to think about living. I really hate being sick, but it is really hard to be sick when you are pregnant and have a small Smug-Baby to take care of!!

I also have a huge list of things to do to get ready for her birthday party this weekend and my normal huge list of daily/weekly tasks that I need to do to keep the house running. And while I know that I should be resting, I can't settle enough to sleep or even relax knowing what I have to do and watching the time tick by knowing that I should be resting and at the same time should be getting stuff done.

I think that it's the mommy syndrome - when we become parents we suddenly become unable to take good care of ourselves. We want to, we just can't manage it. Forcing yourself to lay down to nap is easier said than done because you lay there running down your "to do" list in your head over and over and keep thinking "I really should jump up and get the dishwasher started and then I'll be able to nap" or "If I get that load of laundry started, it can be washing itself while I nap"

The problem is that once you start jumping up and get one thing going, you realize that you need to get just one more thing done and before you know it, Smug-Baby is toddling down the hall, finished with her nap and asking for lunch!!

The flip side is that you force yourself to lay there and not jump up and get anything done, and the to do list just plays in your head over and over and you feel more and more frustrated and toss and turn and never fall asleep and never feel rested and hate that you wasted this valuable time "resting" and getting no rest.

Its a nasty cycle and I have no idea how to break it. I want to take the time to rest. I do know that all the work will still be there and I can call on my family to help me when things get overwhelming, but I still can't seem to shut my head off and get the rest I know I need.

Oh well, I guess there isn't anything for it, but to try to find balance. Get some things done and get some rest.

Wish me luck today as the list is quite long but totally doable!!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Looking Back and Looking Forward

This weekend was really nice. Saturday was spent doing fun things as a family and Sunday was spent doing all the not so fun things as a family. Saturday morning was my nephew’s basketball game and while Smug-Baby didn’t enjoy the game much, she did enjoy running the halls with the other big kids. After the game, we had a prenatal appointment with our Doula and since it was convenient to us all, we had it my mom’s place. She ended up taking Smug-Baby shopping (where she napped in the shopping cart with a cookie in her mouth – awww) and that gave us some quality time with the Doula to discuss more of our fears and work on ways for her to help us take back control in the delivery room. It kept snowing during the visit, like full on blizzard for about 4 minutes and then the sun would come out for a while and then repeat. It was nice to be cozy beside a warm fire, having good conversation and watching the pretty flakes falling.

After that, we had a wonderful lunch at a pizza place where we had a gift card and we ate ourselves silly. Then we came home and Smug-Hub played with Smug-Baby (read: sat with her while she watched Elmo until they both fell asleep) while I took a nap. It was wonderful to sleep for a whole hour without having to pee or get up to take care of Smug-Baby. We made some dinner and hung out, having nice conversations and just enjoying being together.

Sunday was a different story. The head cold that Smug-Baby has had all week finally hit Smug-Hub and I so we were not in the best of moods and no offence to my loving husband, he is a totally piece of shit when he is sick and add to that I was sick too, and we ended up feeling a lot of not so nice feelings toward each other all day. That aside, we worked together to get the house cleaned and the laundry done, diapers washed and wipes made, groceries purchased and dinner made. Overall it was a productive if not happy day and I am glad to have all that house stuff out of the way.

This week should be fairly laid back. There is a break in Story Time at the library so we only have Melody Makers this morning and nothing else scheduled. Since the house is in good shape, I should be able to nap with Smug-Baby every day as long as I take some time each day to keep things picked up.

Tomorrow or Wednesday I need to hit the grocery store for all the things I need for Smug-Baby’s birthday party and I need to make some phone calls today to find someone to blow up the balloons I have and I need to make an appointment with the chiropractor. Friday will be busy because I need to do all the prep work and anything I can ahead for Smug-Baby’s party. The party is at 10am on Saturday, so there won’t be tons of time to get everything done. My mom is going to come over and help me with everything and may even take Smug-Baby to the mall or park or something to give me some concentrated time to work on stuff uninterrupted. That way, Saturday morning will mostly be putting the final touches on everything and enjoying myself J

I am determined to stay on track and on schedule and keep the house picked up and things looking nice. I am just going to have to do it tomorrow, because it is time for work now and I feel like death, so I am not sure I will be worth much today… Tomorrow, Tomorrow I’ll be on schedule tomorrow…

Friday, February 10, 2012


I pulled out the sheet where I kept track of my weight gain when I was pregnant with Smug-Baby and I am gaining more slowly this time around, but not by too much. I am also not having any swelling yet with Little-Smug and I was by this point with Smug-Baby.

Maybe this is because I am walking more this time and more active in other ways simply because I am chasing a toddler around; maybe its just because every pregnancy is different. I weigh about the same now at 23 weeks as I did when I got pregnant with Smug-Baby, so perhaps having a little less excess weight to begin with is making a difference too.

I don't want to get into too much comparing because every pregnancy is different and to compare myself to others in terms of weight gain or belly size would just be silly. I really shouldn't even be comparing myself to myself!!

I met a women yesterday and I thought "I bet she is due about the same time I am" so I asked her and she is due next week!! Our belly's are the same size!!! She is almost finished and I am only half way!! I must be huge, I must look like a house!! Then I stopped. She is smaller person than I am, her body is way different and to compare our belly's just makes me feel like there must be something wrong with me. It's funny, it never occurred to me to think that her belly was too small...

I read posts on Baby Center and Baby Zone and the like and people are always asking each other how much weight they have gained or belly measurements. I just worry that people are focused on the wrong thing! Is your doctor happy with your gain/measurements? Then, let it be!! Thinking that this person only gained 12 pounds their whole pregnancy isn't going to make you feel wonderful that you have gained 12 and are only 23 weeks you know??

I do like feeling like I am somehow in a better place than I was with Smug-Baby simply because, since she is so perfect, if I am having and even healthier pregnancy then it might ensure that Little-Smug is just as perfect. Silly, but I like it!

Off to bed with my tired little Smug-Baby. She has done really well today, napped for 3 hours and played like she wasn't feeling badly at all, but now that it is about bed time, she is starting to fall apart and Smug-Hub isn't going to do. She wants Mama and who can argue with that?!?!?

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Time Off

I took another day off since Smug-Baby's fever was back in full force all night. The poor girl slept wrapped around my chest most of the night - Comforting for her, but way uncomfortable for me. Her fever broke around 3 and she was all sweaty, but she slept better and more soundly after that.

Today she is acting much like her old self, running around and playing so I am hoping that she is feeling better and the worst is behind her on this. Her nose is running a lot, but other than that, she seems perfect!

I took her over to the new library and it was amazing! There was this wonderful kids area with stuffed animals, blocks, puppets and a table for a ton of trains. Smug-Baby really had a great time and I think that it will be added to our weekly outings!

Now we are back home and she is down for her nap. I really need to spend some time getting the diapers washed, kitchen cleaned up and the house straightened up overall. I really need to clean the bathrooms and clean out the car too. I should also nap while she is napping, but the other stuff that needs to be done is weighing heavily on my mind and I don't think that I will be able to rest with all this stuff hanging over my head.

We don't have many plans for the weekend so I know that I will be able to get caught up on things, but still... I want to walk around my house without tripping over blocks and I want to eat without having to wash a spoon first!

I am so grateful to have had the vacation time on the books to be able to stay home and take care of my sick girl, but at the same time it messed up my routine and I don't do well without a list, a timeline, a routine, a schedule. Its a curse :)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Sickly Little One

Smug-Baby has been acting a little odd the last day or so and I wondered if maybe she was cutting a molar. I still don't know if she is or not, but last night she was really restless in her sleep and kept crying out or moaning. I pulled her into our bed really early, like 10:30 and noticed that she was really hot.

I didn't get up to get the thermometer but a mother knows when her baby is sporting a high fever so I held her close and gave her water whenever she woke up. She tossed and turned and rolled and moaned and cried; all mostly without really waking up. Her head was so hot I thought for sure I would have burns on my arms from holding her.

Since I didn't get much sleep and because I knew that if she was sick she wouldn't be happy with just daddy, I stayed home from work. As soon as I sent the e-mail to my boss and peed, I couldn't get back to sleep. My head was KILLING me! I think that it was a combination of stress/worry for Smug-Baby and general lack of sleep, but the end result was that I wasn't able to go back to sleep.

I got up and puttered around the house for a bit until she woke up and she immediately asked for "bites" so I got her some cereal and fed it to her in bed, holding her hot little body against mine. I could tell that the fever wasn't gone, but she wasn't nearly as hot as during the night. I pulled out the thermometer and she was at 99.9. Not too bad, but certainly enough to make her feel lousy.

She played with daddy and the bouncy ball for a little while, but that seemed to take all her energy and then she spent the next several hours just sitting in my arms watching Elmo. I took her into the shower with me and she pretty much just stood under the hot water and didn't play with her bath markers or anything. It broke my heart knowing just how yucky she felt.

After bath we did more sitting on the couch. She just wanted to be held and didn't even want me to read to her, just hold her. About 11, she asked for food and ate about 6 bites and was done. Within moments of being back on the couch she was asleep. I am just doing this quick post while I let myself get a little more sleepy and then I am going to join her. I hope she sleeps for hours and hours and wakes feeling much better.

My poor angel! I love her so much and can't stand it when she feels badly! On the other hand though, it is really nice to know that all she needs in the world to help comfort her when she feels sick is my arms around her and I am so grateful that I am able to provide those arms!!

Feel better my sweet little one!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


I woke up hungry this morning. I couldn't go back to sleep and it was only 30 minutes before I needed to get up anyway, so I got up and had two big glasses of water. I hope that it will last me until I get to work and can have my normal breakfast on my normal schedule.

I used my free time this morning to stock the new bookshelf. Smug-Hub put it together for me last night, so now it is full of books and DVD's and the top of Smug-Baby's dresser is cleared off somewhat. I need to wipe it down and arrange the little knick-knack items to make it look nice, but I wanted to get a post up and I am running out of time before I need to shower and stuff.

Yesterday, I was productive in that I completed all of the laundry except the sheets and towels and I washed all the dishes. I still need to put the clean ones away, but they are all clean and that is something. I did some of the cooking I wanted to do, and the house is fairly straightened up. All in all, I call it a win.

It was hard too, because Smug-Baby who has been consistently sleeping around two hours during the day, thus giving me time to have lunch and nap as well, only slept 30 minutes!! I tried for a while to get her back to sleep, but then it became that magical time of day where it is too late for napping and then I spent the next several hours trying to keep her happy and awake. It was exhausting! Not to mention, I didn't get to nap at all!!

She didn't know what she wanted and would ask for food and then just play with it or throw it. She kept falling and tripping on things. She cried about everything. She wanted me with her every second. She kept pointing inside her mouth, saying "ow" and asking for a kiss. Finally, she let me poke around in there and it does seems like maybe the lower-left gum is rougher, so maybe she is cutting a molar. That would explain the grumpy mood and lack of nap I guess.  She slept decently last night, waking once for me to come to her bed and another time when she came into ours (incidentally, she wouldn't lay with me, she crawled to the end of the bed to sleep between Smug-Hub's legs - go figure). I did give her some Tylenol last night before bed and tried to put some stuff on her gums, but she didn't want that. I hope she sleeps well this morning and cought up a bit.

Man, I am so hungry!! What is up with me? I had a good dinner of rice and veggies and Quorn Chicken! I shouldn't be hungry this early!! I'm gonna go shower and try to get to work without needing to knock over a grocery store!!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Nesting, Part 1

I can feel this little nesting urge coming over me. I woke up early this morning, got out of bed, straightened up the house, made wipes and put away all the toys in Smug-Baby's room - All before getting in the shower. I would be cleaning the dishes right now, but I am nervous that the clanging will wake Smug-Baby up, so I am blogging instead! I have this almost overwhelming urge to throw things away and wipe things down and get the house really, really clean!

I have already made plans to go buy a bookcase today for all Smug-Baby's books. I can't stand one more day of all these wonderful books, falling over, getting stepped on or the pages getting bent. There is one at Wal-Mart for $15.00 and that is an investment I am willing to make!!

I was reading about Organizational Junkie's 29 day Challenge and I realized that I don't normally have much in the way of clutter and what clutter is generated I am generally able to tame on a daily basis. However, where I need help is with the deeper stuff. The "everything has a home" concept is foreign to my husband and he is constantly putting things away in odd places. He finds it perfectly acceptable that odd items suddenly take up residence on top of a cabinet rather than putting it back where he found it. For example, the rolling pin has lived in the drawer under the stove with the pan lids for years now (it lives there because it is too long for any other drawer and rolls around in cabinets. It fits perfectly in with the lids and doesn't interfere when you pull out a lid), for some reason, this weekend I see the rolling pin, hanging over the edge of one of the top cabinets. Just sitting there, collecting dust. It bothers me so much!! I spend time and energy working on organizing a room of the house and within a few days, he has things totally out of order and staged in odd places. I have even found odd food items, like say a cookie, sitting on the shelf of a cabinet. Not wrapped in anything, just hanging out, attracting mice and ants.

When I try to talk to him about putting things back where he found them, he says that he does. In reality, he doesn't pay enough attention to the details to even know where something belongs. I end up preferring to just take care of stuff myself, but this means that each day I would have to go through every drawer and cabinet in every room of the house to make sure that anything he has touched is returned to it's rightful place and frankly I would rather spend my day reading to Smug-Baby and taking her to the park.

My plan was to get the whole house organized by tackling one room each week and then keep that organization in place by cycling through each room again on a 3 month rotation (1 room each week, 12 rooms = 12 weeks). However, as soon as I finished the last room, the morning sickness hit full force and I haven't been able to keep up on the weekly rotation. Now that the morning sickness is mostly gone and only the sleep deprivation remains, I feel like I am ready to get back on track. But it is hard to see that all the hard work of just a few months ago has all been for nothing and that I am starting at square one again.

I am feeling more motivated about tackling it this week though. Like I said, maybe this is the first signs of nesting! I have a couple of months before Little-Smug makes his debut, so I should have plenty of time to get the house back in order and keep it up for a while. Once I'm not getting up at 4:30 in the morning for work and am able to sleep in a bit, the upkeep shouldn't be so hard.

Today I am going to tackle the laundry -  Man oh man is there a massive pile and it is going to take all day!! I am also going to do some cooking and make a plan for the week, picking this week's room is going to be easy though! I am going to start with the bedroom! It shouldn't be too hard to tackle and will ease me into this get-back-in-the-grove plan I've got!!

OK, I have got to get to work!! Wish me luck! This only works if I get enough sleep at night to justify not napping during the day!!

Friday, February 3, 2012


I took Smug-Baby to have her two year pictures taken this afternoon. It was really fun and they spent a lot of time playing with her and getting her comfortable. Although, I think that next time I will arrive about 45 minutes early and let her try to run around and play and get comfortable before the shoot starts. Once she warmed up, she wanted to play with the props and sit in the chairs and so on, but at that point, we were all finished.

I got the CD with the images on it, because they all rocked and I had to have it :) So here are a few of them - certainly not all of them or even all of my favorites, but a smattering of my girl's loveliness!!

On another note: What a difference a year makes!!!

Thursday, February 2, 2012


I have been working today on finding all the important details of our financial life and putting together a document for Smug-Hub. I generally handle all the bills and make sure that everything gets paid and juggle all the bills with the need for food and gas. He doesn't get involved much, unless I am having an issue or there is a larger decision to make (can we afford payments on a new bed, or how should we use our income tax refund). I run all the money... And then I got to thinking about my own mortality.

I am going to have a baby. Last time, I had a baby, I hemorrhaged and could have died. I want to make sure that my family is going to function if something terrible happens to me - during childbirth or anything else!

So, I am putting together a list of all the links to pay things online, along with the user names and passwords, security questions and any other details I can think of for all our monthly bills. I want Smug-Hub to be able to take over paying the bills and managing the accounts without issue if, for some reason, I am no longer able to do it.

Part of me feels like this is morbid, but the larger part of me feels like this is the smart thing to do - hope for the best, plan for the worst!

It has gotten me thinking about what else I should be collecting into one place for him and what we should collect from him in case something happens to him instead of me.

I am also thinking about needing to make up a will or at least a document about what we would like done if we should die in regards to our children. I remember thinking that I would wait until Smug-Baby was born and then get working on the will and stuff, but I never got around to it.

I think that I need to pull out Women and Money again and start getting myself and my family on the right financial track. We need wills, we need plans and we need to know the important stuff that the other handles in case something happens to one of us.

Anything could happen at anytime, so we all need to do this and get ourselves prepared in case the worst does happen. What are you doing or have done to be prepared??

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Skype and 5 Hours of Sleep

We finally got to Skype with Smug-Hub's mom last night! We have been trying to get her set up since Smug-Baby was born and she and the other brothers finally helped her get set up last night and we had our first video chat!

I was concerned that Smug-Baby wouldn't be interested and would just run off. I was even more concerned that she wouldn't be able to keep her little hands from banging the keys and disconnecting us.

As it was, she really got into the whole thing!! It was so cool - she played "scare Grandma with the dinosaur" and gave Grandma wooden cookies to eat. She talked a bit and waved good-bye when we were ending the call. We stayed on about 40 minutes and she was pretty good the whole time!

It is so important to me that we create as much of a relationship between Smug-Baby and her grandparents as possible! I never was close with my grandparents, until last year when my last remaining grandpa came to live here in town until his passing. I am so sorry that I wasn't able to be closer with any of them, to get to know them as people and not just someone who sent gifts on birthday's.

I want more for Smug-Baby and she sees my parents on an almost daily basis. She loves them, is comfortable with them, talks about them and misses them when we go more than a few days without seeing them. I love that she runs to to them, excited to see them and gives them hugs and kisses. She isn't upset when she stays with them while I go off to yoga or whatever.

I want the same for Smug-Hub's mom too! I want her and Smug-Baby to be close and yet the distance makes this really hard! If Smug-Baby only sees her other Grandma a few times a year, then she will never be excited to see her, run to her and so on. I really believe that using Skype once or twice a week will make a huge difference in their ability to stay connected! This way, when my Mother-In-Law is able to visit, Smug-Baby will already associate her as a familiar face and that "warm up" stage won't last as long. I feel like as Smug-Baby grows, learns and understands more, she will be able to create and foster a close relationship via these video chats.

I think one shorter week night call and one longer weekend call would be great and I hope we can keep it up. I hope that now that my Mother-In-Law knows how this all works and we have done it successfully once, we will be able to get into a routine and make sure we don't let the distance keep us all apart!

In other news...

I slept 5 whole, solid hours last night!! I didn't nurse all night!! I feel like I need about a hundred more nights of sleep, but I also feel like I can function today, so I call it a win!

Smug-Baby was a little hyper after the Skype call, but we got her all ready for bed, read some books (which she is getting more into, but still not loving yet) and went into the bedroom and laid down.

Here is the thing (and forgive me if this is TMI), last night marks the second night in a row that I have painted the Binky's with Gentian Violet. Gentian Violet is used to treat thrush and I wanted to try treating for thrush on the off chance that my pain with nursing isn't totally pregnancy related. The thing is, Gentian Violet is bright purple! Smug-Baby has decided that it is very yucky and she doesn't want to nurse. I have offered and still offer, but she keeps turning me down.

This means that she isn't interested in nursing to sleep and when she is hurt or asks for Binky's and I remind her that they are still purple (or show her) she chooses not to nurse. I really didn't mean to cut her off cold turkey, but since there really isn't any milk there anymore, it was just nursing for security and comfort and not for the milk.

The last two nights, Smug-Hub and I have laid with her and talked to her and each other until she falls asleep. The first night it took about 90 minutes and she kept trying to get up and wanted water and to jump on the bed and toss around. Last night, she moved around a bit getting comfortable, but settled down much faster and was asleep within about 40 minutes. She sucked her thumb and held onto my hand and I laid close beside her like I would if she was nursing.

Smug-Hub and I were having such a nice conversation (we rarely get to talk for longer than basic pleasantries and discussions on Smug-Baby) that we kept talking for a while and it was close to 10:30 when I finally shut up and fell asleep (it didn't help that I had to get up 3 times to pee)!

Smug-Baby slept until 3:30 and when she climbed into bed and asked for Binky's I said she could have them, but they were still purple and did she still want them. She said no and rolled over and snuggled into me. It took her a bit of time for her to settle and go back to sleep, but was much better than the hours and hours she was restless the night before. I didn't get back to sleep, but it was only an hour before I was getting up for work anyway, so I am really pleased!

I feel like naps are going better and I am going to give her the option of nursing or not again today. I feel like I want to make sure that not nursing is her choice (even if I am manipulating it a bit) so she doesn't feel like I took something away from her. I am also very clear that this is medicine to help with mommy's ow so she knows there is a reason for the purple paint.

I hope that soon she will be sleeping longer stretches and not waking up to nurse. Then, we can make the transition to having her sleep in her own room. I feel like once Little-Smug comes and needs to nurse in the night or have a diaper change, Smug-Baby needs to be in her own space so Little-Smug's needs will not wake her or disturb her. I hope to have all the transitioning complete before he arrives in a few short months.

Then it will be on to potty training...