Saturday, March 21, 2009

Vacation... Sort of

When we were last here, I was getting ready to take my godson to a movie and to Chuck E. Cheese. He loved every minute of the day, even though we had to wait in line, in the rain, for 2 hours to get in the front door at Chuck E. Cheese. I guess that since it was a Saturday and raining everyone in town decided to take their kids to Chuck E. Cheese. Once inside, he played and played and had the time of his life. I also took him to see Race to Witch Mountain and while it was not great, I think that I was expecting it to be a lot worse, so it was enjoyable.

We had the big family Sunday dinner the following day and while that was wonderful, I was really exhausted by the time everyone left. I thought that I would be really relieved to have my godson gone and life back to normal, but instead I felt really depressed. I really loved having him here, helping him with his homework, taking and picking him up from school, quizzing him about his spelling words over dinner. That is all I want out of life and to get a taste and then have it gone was hard.

It rained from Thursday of that week through Tuesday of this week, so that really added to my depression. I ended up coming home Monday and just crying and crying. I guess I needed to let it all out. I am still really grieving the loss of my job and upset about how much I hate my new job. I am burned out on school and not really looking forward to the remaining work. Add to all this missing the whole acting like a mom thing and I was just a mess.

By the next day, I was feeling better, like I got it all out. I am still unhappy about all the things I am unhappy about, but I have a lot to be grateful for and I am trying to concentrate on the good stuff. It didn't hurt that Tuesday was the last day of work before I took the rest of the week off because my husband's family was arriving on Wednesday.

His father arrived first and we took him downtown for lunch and some exploring. While at one of the shops, we got the call that two of his brothers had arrived in town, so we directed them to meet up and then all headed back to the house. We spent the afternoon visiting talking and then everyone took a little nap - they were all beat from travel. We had a late dinner and then spent the night talking and laughing and watching stand up comedy. I finally went to bed about 2am, which is unheard of for me - I am strictly a 9pm bedtime girl.

Thursday everyone slept most of the day, I had gotten a flat tire the day before so I went to get a new one and then had to go to class. The class was not too bad, I feel like I have really gotten over the hump, I know that I am almost finished and I know how to deal with the remaining teachers we have and I only have 16 nights left!!

Friday was again a sleep in mind of day, I think that everyone was up and moving by about noon, then I left to do the grocery shopping for the party that night, which my husband took his family on a driving tour of the city and up to the star and stuff like that. Once we all met back at the house, everyone pitched in to get the house cleaned up and the food going for the dinner and following party.

Dinner and the party was really fun. Not everyone was able to make it, but we still had a house full of people, lots of good food and good wine, talking and laughing well into the night. It was again 2am before I went to bed. I would have slept longer, but my husbands CPAP machine was squeaking, so I was up by 8:30 this morning. I spent some time getting the kitchen cleaned up, and am typing now.

We are hoping to go on a bike ride or hike today, but it is going to depend on when everyone gets up and moving. It is 11am now, so we will see...

Friday, March 13, 2009

2 To Go

I currently only have to return to the Higher Education Center 17 more times. 17 more class nights. 17 more assignments. 17 more nights to pay attention. 17 more $1 parking fees. 17 more rushes from work to class. 17 more nights until I AM an MBA. 17 more.

I feel quite a large lump in my throat at the thought of being so close to finishing.

You know, for someone who was homeschooled, I sure have spent a lot of my life in school!!!

I was really hoping that graduation would coincide with giving birth, but that is not going to happen. Maybe next month, but not this one. I hope that God's plan will reveal itself soon, because it is really hard not to get discouraged about the baby thing or the job thing right now.

Today, I am off work, so I took Nathaniel to school and I've had some breakfast, so the plan for the day is to get the house cleaned, the laundry done, the food shopping done, pay bills, stuff like that. After I pick up Nathaniel from school, we will get his homework done and then I will get started on dinner. Elaine and her new boyfriend are coming over for dinner and to hang out.

Tomorrow, I think that I will spend the day doing fun stuff with Nathaniel. I was thinking about a trip to Chucky Cheese (I have some coupons for pizza and tokens) and then maybe to see Race To Witch Mountain - just spend the day out of the house, so Smug-Hub can work on the bathroom without interruption and so I can play some too!

Sunday is the monthly big family dinner at my house! So, I am going to get some good family time and lots of good food - this weekend is going to rock!!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

So, What up with me?

I have been neglecting my blog and most everything else lately. I got to feeling like all I was doing was complaining or talking about not being able to get pregnant again and I don't want to be that girl - all bitching and negativity and nothing positive.

Today's post is going to be some of both...

I don't feel like I am adjusting to my new position very well. I know that they hire a lot of people right out of high school and they are young and new to the workforce, but the supervisor treats everyone like they are in kindergarten - like putting "good job" stickers on score sheets (score sheets are another issue, but more on that later). My nephew is 6 and his kindergarten teacher uses stickers. The score sheets, monitoring, proficiency tests, etc. seem very high school to me. Besides the fact that "tests" have a negative connotation attached to them, they are negative behavior reinforcement. I feel like if you are expected to be an adult and do your job, then you are expected to do what you are supposed to do, and monitoring and testing is causing people to focus on test taking instead of knowledge retention. I feel that all this stuff reinforces childish behavior because the supervisor treats everyone like children.

I am also frustrated because my new supervisor has not had time to train me much. I have been there about 7 weeks and I can only count 4 hours that she has sat with me. When she does sit with me, so goes over screens and how to do stuff with no context. These are items that I may run access at some point in the future and I have no place to stick this in my memory bank - then when I ask a question, she is shocked that I don't remember that we have talked about it. She says that it takes about 6 months to become fully trained, well I believe it! If I am only going to get "training" a few hours a month, it is going to take a damn long time.

I have asked her to let someone else in the department who is fully proficient sit with me and go over with me everything that comes along in real time. She refused. I think that since volume is slow this would give myself and someone else full hours, and since the department would be 2 people slow, everyone else would have more volume, thus increasing the odds of getting more hours and more pay. As it stands, I have been bringing home $250 a week since I have been in this department, so it can't continue too much longer without my having to get a second (or another) job.

I have been in contact with several people who work for another company and they really want me to consider coming over there. This company is a good one, who may be as about recession proof as one can be right now. I think that I am going to apply for an analyst position and it nothing else work on polishing my resume and brushing up on my interview skills. Perhaps they will offer me something really good and I could take it until my current company gets back on its feet and has something good for me. Perhaps I find that I really like this new company and a job there better. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps... It certainly can't hurt to put feelers out there and see what happens. I love my company, I have been there 8 years and it is scary to think about leaving, but I am so unhappy right now and add to that the money issue and I think that God is pushing me to look at other options.

The weather today is supposed to be wonderful, about 75 degrees, so Mom and I are going to take a nice bike ride about noon, and then we are having some friends over for dinner tonight and tomorrow we are headed to a bridal show to help our photographer friends - so the weekend is going to be a busy one, but I think it is going to be full of fun things and not homework for a change! I am really looking forward to a time when homework is a word I don't use!

I am also looking forward to starting a new course next week, Finance is going to be 10 weeks and then I have a nice 6 week break - I bet the 10 weeks leading up to it will be long and drag, but I will get though it and when it is over we are heading to Albuquerque for a week, so that will be some much needed R&R!!

I was at a Pampered Chef party last night and the consultant is one that I have gotten to know a bit and she had a miscarriage a month or so before I had mine and she and her husband have been trying since, just like Smug-Hub and I, so we have bonded a bit over that. Anyway, she told me last night that they finally succeeded and they are about 12 weeks along. I am so happy for her and don't feel any jealousy or anything - just happy for her. I am currently at day 34 today, so I am hopeful, but not freaking out or taking test after test or anything. If it happens it happens and if not, next month. I think that I am going to try to wait until next weekend to test, I think that I ovulated late this month, so I don't want to get too excited too early.

I am going to get the house cleaned up now to get ready for the dinner tonight, turn on some good music and get stuff knocked out! I am really trying to think positively and, in the words of The Beatles, Let It Be....


I have been neglecting my blog and most everything else lately and for that I am sorry.