Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Confessions of a Dairy-aholic

I love cheese! I mean, I really LOVE cheese. I would eat cheese on everything. I love all types of cheese from those processed slices that make the best grilled cheese, to the high end cheeses from all around the world.

The problem is that I have stomach issues when I eat too much cheese. Add to that sour cream, cream cheese, milk and everything else that contains trace (and not so trace) amounts of dairy, and you get a chick who is sick to her stomach almost all the time.

So, I decided to become a vegan. I have been trying on and off to stay dairy-free since January, but really only the last 4 weeks have I been completely dairy free. Until this past Sunday...

I took myself to see two movies at the theatre (I know, I was gluttonous), but I got hungry between them and broke down and got nachos. I wasn't really all that hungry and I didn't even want them that much, but I got them anyway.

They weren't very good and I was sorry that I had wasted my splurge on them, but the real problem is that now I can't seem to stop again. I have eaten Watergate salad, potato salad, apple pie, and ice cream all since Sunday. I don't really want any of these items, and it is not like I am going "oh, how I have missed you, you taste SOOO good" or anything. We have just had people over and these items were sitting there and I ate them.

Now for the fallout. I have felt sick to my stomach the last several mornings, have had gas and direrea and the like since Sunday night. I don't want to eat anymore dairy, but it is sitting in my fridge and I don't have the money that will allow me to let that food go bad. Now, my husband will eat some of it too, but I am not going to waste food.

I am going to eat the food that we have and recommit myself back to my non-dairy ways. It is almost like I feel that since I "messed up" on Sunday the whole week is ruined so I might as well pig out, get it all out of my system and start fresh next week. The problem with this is the whole addiction thing - what if I can't stop?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Not Much...

Well, I keep thinking that I need to update my blog, but then I can't think of much to write about. Not much as happened.

I did see the doctor about scheduling some testing for infertility. I hope that this will be an unneccessary gesture. My husband and I have commited to not letting anything get in the way of trying this coming month. We tend to get busy or tired and rely on the ovulation test to tell us when to try. But we are thinking that we need to commit to a schedule of every other day from days 10 to 20. I really believe that we are just missing the timing factor. We got pregnant before, we can do it again!

The lease on my car is almost over and I decided that I really wanted a Mini Cooper, I drove one thinking that I would find it too small and cramped, but I LOVED it! Then my husband attempted to drive it and could hardly fit, then he pointed out that we would not be able to fit a baby carseat and a stroller in the car at the same time, let alone any luggage for a trip or even groceries for that matter. I relucktantly turned my attention to testing other cars and ended up really liking a Jetta above all others. So, I bought it!! I will have 2 months of overlapping payments, but I held back enough of the down payment money to cover the first two months of payments, so I think that I was smart about it.

Also, while looking for a car for me, we stumbled upon a little Toyota truck for my husband. We had enough in savings to pay for it outright, so that was a great stroke of luck, only one car payment, but back to having two cars!!

I did my final individual presentation in my Finance class last week. I worked really hard on it and was pleased when the instructor did not interupt me much. He is the kind of guy that will never give anyone 100%, because that says to him that there is no room for improvement, and he feels that there is always room for improvement. Anyway, the presentation was worth 25 points, he gave me 24.9 points - this means that I am a tenth of a percent away from perfection!! I love that idea!!

I have also done all the homework for the remaining three classes, which is a huge load off my mind, and also means that besides for the last group presentation, which we are all finished with and just need to present this week, I only have to worry about the final exam! Three more weeks until my long awaited 7 week vacation from school! I have been making all these plans, but I have a feeling that I will spend a lot of time relaxing and vegging out and not getting much done. I don't care - I hope that I have horrible morning sickness the whole time, I just want to not have to worry about homework and I want to be pregnant!

I also spent a long time last night working on our finances. My company just went from weekly pay periods to pay periods every two weeks. I am actually fine with this arrangement, but it is taking a but of finasse to get the bills lined up correctly and everything budgeted out for that configuration. I think that we will be fine, but this month is going to be tight while we make the transition, and since we got the cars, the cushion of that money in the savings account is gone, so it is a bit hard to look at the balances.

I have been helping out doing some of the stuff from my old job this week and last week, so it is making it really hard to go back and work some in my new department. I hate it so much, that I just want to cry all the time. When I think about this project being over tomorrow, and going back to full time in my new department, I just feel sick. I have started helping a friend of mine with her business, just helping to organize, file, do data entry, stuff like that and I just know that this kind of work is what I am meant to do with my time. She is not paying me and I would not take it if she tried, but I just love helping and I love spending time doing what I am good at. Besides, if I apply for an office manager position at some point the experience will be vital!
I did speak to the new VP in my company and he was working on the special project with me, and he seemed impressed with me and told me that he wants to make a place for me in his department as soon as possible. He hopes that something will open up for me in the next couple of months. Lord, I really hope something happens soon!

I went to see Star Trek this weekend with my husband and my dad. It was SO good!! I am not a huge Trek fan, but I know enough to get the jokes and references to the past movies and show. I think that I need to see it again soon!! I am really looking forward to the summer movie seasion. X-Men is already out, and Star Trek. The new Transformers will be out soon and so will the new Terminator. I am also looking forward to G.I.Joe and several others! Maybe that is how I will spend my summer break from school - seeing every movie!! I love movies! Hey, I may have just discovered a hobby!!

Well, I guess I lied when I said before that not much has been happening. I will try to update more, but I just feel so blah so mcuh of the time. This job thing is really getting my down! I am going to try to enjoy my life and think about all the good things that I have and will have. It is not always easy, or even ever easy, but I am going to try!