Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Fancy Pants

Why is it that a simple person can no longer buy underwear in simple colors like white, cream or black even? I don't know when it happened, but underwear only come in hot pink, bright blue, sunshine yellow and the like and it is pissing me off!

I used to purchase my underwear from Victoria's Secret, but since becoming a home owner and working on becoming a parent, such things are out of my current price range. Haynes and Fruit of the Loom are becoming my new friends! The only problem is that I wear a lot of khaki pants and YOU CAN SEE HOT PINK THROUGH KHAKI!! What are these manufacturers thinking? I can't be the only woman who likes normal, sedate items underneath my clothes! What happened to all the light colors? And don't even get me started on all the wacky designs! They go under your clothes, people - they don't need to be striped, have circles, or other wonderful prints!!

All these colors are fine you wear thick wool pants and jeans only, but I have been noticing that most of the people that I see in a day, wear all kinds of colors of pants, and there are plenty of whom have been without other option apparently and been forced to wear something bright and I refuse to become one of them!

I will keep shopping until white comes back in style!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Day off - NOT!

Yesterday was Friday and I had the day off. I had the day planned out down to the minute. I asked Smug-Hub to get a ride into work in the morning, so I would not have to break up my study schedule, but he failed to do this.

The plan was to sleep in as long as I wanted to, then take the first pass over the stats class final exam, then pack up some of my winter clothes and unpack the summer stuff. I was then going to have lunch and take another pass over the final exam, before heading to my chiropractor appointment and massage. After the massage I was going to come home and get the house cleaned up and some of the dinner prep, before picking Smug-Hub up and getting back here to get dinner on the table for Dad and Smug-StepMom.

What really happened was, I slept in a bit and had breakfast, then took Smug-Hub and headed for the office. On the way he decided that we have to buy a lawn mower ( which was true, the lawn is getting out of hand), so we headed over to Wal-Mart, which was fine with me as I needed a few things for the dinner, but it turned into an hour long discussion with the lawn and garden guy and then a trip to Lowe's before I finally dropped him at the office.

It was noon before I got home and I barely had enough time to straighten up the house a bit before heading to the chiropractor. The massage ran a bit long as I got slightly lost trying to find the lady's house, so I had to run right to pick up Smug-Hub, who was in the middle of finishing up an e-mail and two orders, when the power was cut off by the maintenance people (they were trying to install something and did not want to get electrocuted) He had to get the power back on and finish his tasks before coming to the car. He had forgotten to check the gas level in the grill, so once we arrived home he had to run back out to the store.

I showered (oily from massage), finished straightening up the house, made the salad, ice tea, peeled and chopped the potatoes and got them cooking to make mashed potatoes, then chopped veggies for this corn, squash, zucchini dish, and sliced strawberries for dessert. He got home the same time my parents arrived and got the steaks on the grill and poured wine for my step-mom. I whipped the cream for dessert and mashed the potatoes and dinner all came together without an issue! The food was good and there was good conversation. My step-mother drank most of the bottle of wine and thus was VERY relaxed and happy! They stayed until almost midnight!

I slept this morning until about 7:30 and am currently having some breakfast, before attempting to get yesterday's schedule applied to today!

I got a new scale yesterday and weighed 180 this morning - that means that I have lost 5 pounds since I was at the doctor! At least, that is how I am going to look at it, given that it was the middle of the day and I was fully dressed at the doctors office. I am still going to consider it progress! I am looking forward to starting Weight Watchers this coming week!

I have not started by period yet and I should have started Thursday or Friday, I guess that my cycle is not really back to normal yet from the pill, so I guess that I will just have to watch how I feel and hope that I don't start in the middle of the night or something - gerrr, the downside of going off the pill!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Dieting is Not The Answer

I have been trying to eat a balanced, portion controlled, nutrient rich diet this week. This has been going OK, I was really struggling on Monday, but each day I have been less hungry(read: miserable). I have been spending most of the week thinking about when I can eat next, I have been bored at work since several people are out of the office for some big meeting in Atlanta and therefore they aren't needing me, so when to eat has been my whole focus.

I have been thinking a lot about the best way to both reach my health and weight loss goals and still maintain some quality of life. I love to cook and eat and try new things - this strict thing is just pissing me off. On the other hand, I know that if I don't have a structured plan of what to eat, I will eat whatever is available when I get hungry. This means grabbing Taco Bell on the way to school or giving in when my husband wants to grab Thai food.

I know that I need to come up with a balance. I need to be able to eat the foods that I love and still get healthy. I was complaining about this and a girl here at work mentioned that she is doing Weight Watchers and loves it. She explained that it works on a points system, you get a certain number of points allotted to you each day and then you spend those points on food throughout that day. You also get a certain number of bonus points each week for a splurge or whatever. She told me that you can earn more points by the amount of exercising that you do too.

I think that I am going to go with her to a meeting next week and see about the details. I would think that it would be really easy to fall into an unhealthy pattern of eating junk with low point values or whatever - so I need to see if this will fit into helping me with both goals.

If so, I will be able to be more flexible about food when I have people over for dinner, or go out with a friend, or meet with my study group. I want to lose weight, but not at the expense of my taste buds!

I just think that dieting does not really work, diets are all about what you can't eat for a certain amount of time, you reach your goal, you go back to eating the old way, you gain it all back. We all need to stop the short term thinking and find a way to lose weight, get healthy and eat the foods we love, for the rest of our lives! I believe that means making good choices 98% of the time and 2% of the time eating something decadent.

I know that I need to start adding exercising back into my life, but I am giving myself a pass for the 3 weeks it will take to finish this run of taking 2 classes at a time. Once I am back to one night a week for school, that will leave me time to check out the new gym that my husband I just joined (it was just built too, so that should be exciting).

I also think that the new eating plan I have been doing this week is helping my stress level. All the food for the whole week is prepped and ready to go, packing it up is easy and I don't have to stress over making a bad choice or how I am going to fit in eating. I have also stopped giving myself a hard time about not working out. I have just decided that I need to give myself a break while I finish up these two classes and then start fresh the first full week in May. New Month = New Habits!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Control Freak Strikes AGAIN!

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! I am really ready to get back into being a healthy, active, energized person.

With all the work and school and stress that I have been facing these last few months I have just let myself go. I have let my stress level and my busyness act as an excuse to be lazy and I have let it all run my life and my world. I am in pain all the time with headaches and back pain. I am going to the chiropractor after work today as well as this little spa day thing at the local yoga center so I hope that both of these will ease some of the tension and stress.

I took a long look at my naked self in the bathroom mirror this morning and I realized that I am a control freak! I have this fundamental need to control everything around me. It drives my friends, class mates and husband bananas! Why then, am I letting my addiction to junk food control me? I don’t even really like any of the foods that I have been eating. It is almost like I am punishing myself for being bad, by forcing myself to eat more junk!

Well, I am finished with that! Starting Monday morning, I am turning over a new leaf and I am quitting junk food cold turkey! I am going to spend the weekend doing some oddball stuff and I will make sure that it involves getting rid of all the junk in the house and gets all these good things in! I have made up a menu for next week that stays within all my ranges in SparkPeople, and a grocery list for that menu. I have chosen foods that are packaged for convenience so that eating well will not add to my stress level. There are all foods that I can take with me to work or school or eat at home.

As far as the working out, I think that in 3 weeks when this stint with taking two classes a week is over, and I am back to doing schoolwork for only one class and only going to class one night a week, I will have more time to fit in working out. I talked to my husband and he is going to help motivate me by going with me to the gym at least 1 evening a week – that way I am assured of going at least once. I am also going to commit again to power walking for 1 hour, 1 evening a week with mom. Anything else will be gravy until the school stuff slows down and I am not going to kill myself over it.

I have to find a balance between work, school, family, the house, and my health. I have to do something in each area and there is nothing that can be given up – so maybe I should study more, or workout more, but there has to be the balance and I am just going to have to be OK with losing this weight more slowly or taking a “B” in a class!

If I… NO When I get into the habits of eating better and working out on a regular basis, my clothes will fit better and I will have more energy to be better able to accomplish all the things that I need to do. I also think that I am going to take a page from Smug-Sister and decide on some goals and some rewards for when I meet that goal. I think that I am going to make facials and massage a reoccurring theme of these rewards!

Goal # 1 – Stick to eating and exercise plan all day Monday (Don’t laugh, I have not been able to be good a whole day in a long time). Reward # 1 – Buy Sweeney Todd on DVD OK, wish me luck – I know that it will be tough at times, but I have my wonderful family so I know that I am going to be fine :)

Monday, April 7, 2008

I Am In Love With My Wedding Photographers!

My husband and I had dinner this weekend with some new friends! Our wedding photographers! They are such a great couple, full of fun and laughs and wedding horror stories that kept us in stitches!

They also brought with them a copy of all the images from when I did my bridal pictures over the summer before the wedding. It has been so long since I had seen them that I have not been doing much besides looking at them.

I am way critical of them, as any women would be, but I really liked the artistic flair that these guys had when taking them. While I think that I look fat, or my hair is not quite right, or just feel funny looking at too much of myself - I really love them! I really wanted something that was not the standard bridal fare and they have exceeded my expectations. I feel like I have some really wonderful memories and that is primarily what you have after a wedding. Everything else is gone and over, but the pictures help you to relive the day, not to mention everything leading up to it!

These pictures (wedding and bridal) cause me such emotion, because they really capture the essence of the day, the whole experience, the emotions.

I will forever be grateful to Justin and Marie for helping me to keep my special day fresh in my mind and clear in my heart!

Thank you!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Officially Trying...Maybe....

I sent my husband this really heart-felt e-mail while he was on his most recent business trip explaining all my biological clock symptoms, fears and concerns regarding having a baby. He responded that we would discuss it, but then called me from his trip at 3am to tell me that he was ready and had been told not to wait any longer by all his business buddy's - I have to say there was a great deal of alcohol involved! Anyway, when he called the next day I told him I was holding him to the previous nights drunk dialing phone call promises and he did not seem too concerned.

When he arrived home from his trip we were very happy to see each other and as one thing was leading to another, I mentioned again that I wanted to make a baby. This did not seem to stop him in any way or put any kind of damper on the mood! I told him today a few things that I was going to do to him after our dinner guests leave tonight, mentioning again about making a baby. His only comment was that baby making was supposed to be fun and could not be done on a time table. I told him that the books recommend every other day, today (Friday) would be that other day!

We will see how tonight goes, but I am cautiously optimistic that we are getting to being on the same page regarding starting our family. I want to have a nice long sit down discussion with him and make sure that we are on the same page, but I have made it very clear what I am wanting and it has not seemed to cause him any heart palpitations yet.

I have become very interested in maternity clothes. I think that I can get some really cute stuff online for not too much money. I think that I will only need a few things - a pair of jeans, 2 pairs of khaki pants, 2 pairs of black pants, several tops for wearing to work, a dress or two, some workout or stretchy pants, and a couple of t-shirts. I will probably also need some PJ's, but really I think that I can get most of what I am going to need for just a couple hundred dollars - I have been looking at these really cute pants with the low waisted elastic band and thinking that I might be ready to wear those now, they look really comfortable!

I have also renewed my commitment to start living like a pregnant person, so I typed up all the things that I am no longer allowed to have and all the things that I should be doing and eating to have a healthy pregnancy. I figure that if this week's activities had the desired result I could already be pregnant (yeah, right), so if we are going to be trying, then I might always be already pregnant, so it is time to get with the program! It is important to be in good health and have good fitness and be eating right for a while before getting pregnant.

OK, I am off to go eat lasagna, bread and cheesecake at the first dinner party we are having in our new house!

Yes, I see the irony that I just committed to being healthy for my possible peanut, and now I am going to eat cheesecake, but it's a process, give me a break!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Baby Aches and Other Updates on Life

I got my hair cut this past weekend and my hairdresser (and friend) was telling me that she and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years without success and she is planning to see the fertility doctor, along with her husband, this week. This has set me into a bit of a panic mode. She is just about 1 year exactly younger than I am and had been on the pill about the same number of years, so the similarities are there and I am already about to burst from the need to have a family, so it was not a boost to me to say the least!

My husband is out of town this week, so I sent him a long e-mail detailed this and my other fears and concerns. I know that once the baby gets here he will wonder why we waited so long, and can't imagine life without him or her. He just needs time to get used to the idea, but my biological clock is ticking so loudly that I am unable to sleep through it; I have baby or pregnancy dreams almost every night and every thought that I have is about having a baby. I have not had alcohol since New Years Eve. I don't drink caffeine, until I got sick recently and had to take an antibiotic and sinus medicine, I had not had anything drug related (even going through my period without Advil) in 3 months. I am also off the prescriptions now too. I think about everything that I do as how it relates to a pregnant person. I want to "pretend" to be pregnant to get an idea of how good at it I will be - how silly is that?

I hope that he will read my e-mail, give it some thought and come home on the same page as I am and we can get started trying! Maybe all my fears will be for nothing and we will get pregnant on the first try!

In other news, I have spent a great deal of time doing homework this week and it is all due this week, I have not done anything to get ahead on next weeks work. I had to compile the team project, create a cover letter for our survey, create the Power Point presentation, do the math problems due this week, correct the math problems for last week, write a paper on sample sizes, and write up a presentation and handouts for a individual presentation. All this is for the Research and statistics class. For the Legal Aspects class, I had to write 6 case briefs, I did all these last night then this morning realized that I had read the syllabus wrong and instead of 2 briefs from each of chapters 5, 6 & 7, I should have done 2 briefs each from chapters 5, 7 & 9. So I have two more to write tonight. I still have not heard anything from my legal aspects team regarding the team article that we have to present, so I guess that I am going to have to do that too.

What the hell am I doing blogging, when I have all this stuff to get done??? I still have about 8 hours of shows on the DVR that I have got to start plowing through or they will start falling off!!

I have class Tomorrow and Thursday night so tonight is the only night that I have to get this stuff done!

At least Smug-Hub will be home tomorrow night!! :)