Friday, April 11, 2008

Control Freak Strikes AGAIN!

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! I am really ready to get back into being a healthy, active, energized person.

With all the work and school and stress that I have been facing these last few months I have just let myself go. I have let my stress level and my busyness act as an excuse to be lazy and I have let it all run my life and my world. I am in pain all the time with headaches and back pain. I am going to the chiropractor after work today as well as this little spa day thing at the local yoga center so I hope that both of these will ease some of the tension and stress.

I took a long look at my naked self in the bathroom mirror this morning and I realized that I am a control freak! I have this fundamental need to control everything around me. It drives my friends, class mates and husband bananas! Why then, am I letting my addiction to junk food control me? I don’t even really like any of the foods that I have been eating. It is almost like I am punishing myself for being bad, by forcing myself to eat more junk!

Well, I am finished with that! Starting Monday morning, I am turning over a new leaf and I am quitting junk food cold turkey! I am going to spend the weekend doing some oddball stuff and I will make sure that it involves getting rid of all the junk in the house and gets all these good things in! I have made up a menu for next week that stays within all my ranges in SparkPeople, and a grocery list for that menu. I have chosen foods that are packaged for convenience so that eating well will not add to my stress level. There are all foods that I can take with me to work or school or eat at home.

As far as the working out, I think that in 3 weeks when this stint with taking two classes a week is over, and I am back to doing schoolwork for only one class and only going to class one night a week, I will have more time to fit in working out. I talked to my husband and he is going to help motivate me by going with me to the gym at least 1 evening a week – that way I am assured of going at least once. I am also going to commit again to power walking for 1 hour, 1 evening a week with mom. Anything else will be gravy until the school stuff slows down and I am not going to kill myself over it.

I have to find a balance between work, school, family, the house, and my health. I have to do something in each area and there is nothing that can be given up – so maybe I should study more, or workout more, but there has to be the balance and I am just going to have to be OK with losing this weight more slowly or taking a “B” in a class!

If I… NO When I get into the habits of eating better and working out on a regular basis, my clothes will fit better and I will have more energy to be better able to accomplish all the things that I need to do. I also think that I am going to take a page from Smug-Sister and decide on some goals and some rewards for when I meet that goal. I think that I am going to make facials and massage a reoccurring theme of these rewards!

Goal # 1 – Stick to eating and exercise plan all day Monday (Don’t laugh, I have not been able to be good a whole day in a long time). Reward # 1 – Buy Sweeney Todd on DVD OK, wish me luck – I know that it will be tough at times, but I have my wonderful family so I know that I am going to be fine :)

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