Well, lately I am feeling like he is not at all interested in walking my shoes. He wants what he wants and is unwilling to even consider my feelings on the matter. I feel like he is so busy forming his response to what he thinks that I am going to say that he fails to even listen completely to my point. When I tried to talk to him about this, he cut me off to tell me how he is feeling.
One of the things that I think is important in a marriage is finding important the things that your partner finds important. That isn't to say that you have to suddenly become a Dallas Cowboy fan just because your husband his, but it does mean that you have to hand over the remote and maybe even watch the game with him when the Cowboys are playing instead of making him watch the Food Network.
I think that if something is important to Smug-Hub than I need to make it a priority to understand where he is coming from and try to give a little on my end to get us to a compromise. However, it is just as important that he find what I think is important also important and I am not feeling that from him lately.
I know that the adjustment to a new baby coming as well as the impending loss of my job has to be weighing heavily on him and I am concerned that rather than talking to me about his fears and concerns, he is just getting resentful; holding it all inside and trying to deal with it himself and that makes him preoccupied with his own stuff. Instead of talking out what is bothering him, he is just snappish.
I think that he feels like he is put upon at the moment with all his unexpressed worry and feels like that entitles him to be cut some slack in other areas. However, since this is just a guess on my part and I don't really know what is up with him, I just end up feeling taking advantage of and like what I want or need doesn't matter.
What I need is for people to take care of the pregnant chick right now! I don't want to have to coddle anyone's hurt feelings, stepped on toes, or perceived offencies. I want my husband and everyone else in my life to take a chill pill and understand that being pregnant is hard! Being pregnant with an early morning job and a full time toddler is super, freakin', crazy hard!! I need some love people!! I need Smug-Hub to get out of his own head, grow up and be the man of the family!! Put Smug-Baby and I before his own wants and needs!!!!
Maybe he feels like he is doing that and staying up late at night is his one concession, but I wouldn't know that because he isn't talking to me. Maybe he feels like since he has the weight of our financial future on his shoulders (which he doesn't, but maybe he feels that way) that I should give in to him when he wants something, but again, he isn't talking about anything deeper than what's for dinner!!
I know that I should be talking to him about all this and not venting here, but hey! this is what my blog is for - keeping track of my life and all that happens. The good, the great and the really sucky!
I love my husband and I think we have an amazing love and life together. It's not that I think he doesn't love me or want to be a good husband. I just think we are having a little rough patch and it's time for a sit down, open and honest discussion!!
Thanks for letting me bitch!