Thursday, February 16, 2012

Sickly Me

I am sick. I have been sick since Sunday, but it really hit me hard on Monday and Tuesday and I am just now feeling recovered enough to think about living. I really hate being sick, but it is really hard to be sick when you are pregnant and have a small Smug-Baby to take care of!!

I also have a huge list of things to do to get ready for her birthday party this weekend and my normal huge list of daily/weekly tasks that I need to do to keep the house running. And while I know that I should be resting, I can't settle enough to sleep or even relax knowing what I have to do and watching the time tick by knowing that I should be resting and at the same time should be getting stuff done.

I think that it's the mommy syndrome - when we become parents we suddenly become unable to take good care of ourselves. We want to, we just can't manage it. Forcing yourself to lay down to nap is easier said than done because you lay there running down your "to do" list in your head over and over and keep thinking "I really should jump up and get the dishwasher started and then I'll be able to nap" or "If I get that load of laundry started, it can be washing itself while I nap"

The problem is that once you start jumping up and get one thing going, you realize that you need to get just one more thing done and before you know it, Smug-Baby is toddling down the hall, finished with her nap and asking for lunch!!

The flip side is that you force yourself to lay there and not jump up and get anything done, and the to do list just plays in your head over and over and you feel more and more frustrated and toss and turn and never fall asleep and never feel rested and hate that you wasted this valuable time "resting" and getting no rest.

Its a nasty cycle and I have no idea how to break it. I want to take the time to rest. I do know that all the work will still be there and I can call on my family to help me when things get overwhelming, but I still can't seem to shut my head off and get the rest I know I need.

Oh well, I guess there isn't anything for it, but to try to find balance. Get some things done and get some rest.

Wish me luck today as the list is quite long but totally doable!!

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