Thursday, June 3, 2010

The best start to a day ever!!

It was so sweet this morning, Smug-Hub's hose fell out of his CPAP mask about 4 and since I have to get up at 4:30, I was already starting to wake up a bit. Anyway, the sound woke Smug-Baby and I knew when she woke, but I kept my eyes closed. I could hear and feel her moving around a bit and then I felt her little hand reach up and touch my face. I opened my eyes and looked down at her, she had her head all tilted back and her arm stretched up and was touching my face and looking at me. When we made eye contact, her whole face lit up with this huge grin! I smiled and gathered her close to my body and held her and kissed her whole face! It was the best way to wake up!!

She is changing in small ways every day and while there is so much that I am looking forward to as she grows, I am really trying to cherish this time too. She has started to be able to get her toes up high and she grabs them with her little hands and, of course, brings them right into her mouth! It is so cute to watch. She is also starting to bite and gnaw on my finger when she can get a hold of it, so I feel like teething is in our near future.

I think all the time about the kind of person she will be. Smug-Hub likes to say what she will be like and that bothers me, I like to imagine what she can be and allow her to develop into her own personality without expectations. I think that he is just thinking his own thoughts in his way, but I hate when he says “She will be kind” or “She will play soccer” I personally want to see what she becomes without pressure from me to become what I want her to be.

I think that she is a really secure baby. She can wake up from a nap, where I have laid her in her seat or on the bed and not be scared, she knows that she is safe and I’m close at hand. She sometimes will cry out a bit when she can’t see me and then she is calm and waits for my face to appear and to hear my voice. This isn’t to say that she is never upset or never wakes crying, but it is rare.
I don’t think of her as this alien baby, I think about her as a person; how would I feel if I were helpless, counting on others to fulfill my needs and understand what I was going through. I want her to always feel safe and secure and know that I am doing everything I can to make sure she is safe and happy.

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