Monday, January 25, 2010

Monday of my 37th Week

I am sitting here at my desk on a rainy Monday morning contemplating how life is about to change. I see ads for upcoming events in late February or March and thinking that by the time they roll around I will have a baby in my arms. We ate breakfast at Waffle House Sunday morning and I mentioned to Smug-Hub that the next time we eat there we will have a baby with us. We don't actually eat there very much, but still…

We could have a baby before the Super Bowl. We will certainly have a baby before the Skins and Cowboys meet again. We will have a baby before the tax refund I filed this weekend is sent to us. We will have a baby with us next time we go to the polls to vote. I will have a baby before I need to purchase a new bottle of laundry detergent!

Yesterday at the grocery store I became that lady you see in the funny commercials who pulls out one orange and then the whole stack of oranges falls all over the floor. Except I did not do it with oranges, I did it with pears AND apples AND red bell peppers! I also knocked over magazines when I reached for the one that I wanted and knocked a few boxes of macaroni and cheese off the shelf when I was trying to get my cart past another customer. All of this would have been funny if I hadn't had to bend over and pick up everything that kept falling around me. I felt like crying by the end of the shopping trip.

I have officially gathered everything that I need for the hospital, except for the cash in small bills for vending. I just need now to find a bag or case to hold everything that can be packed now, along with the stuff that will need to be grabbed at the last minute. I went over the birth preferences with my doctor and got him to sign off on them. I have made copies to get him to put in my file and to take with us to the hospital for the nurses. I have baked cookies and muffins to take to butter up the nurses and pulled some crock-pot recipes to work on this week that can be frozen to have ready when we get home from the hospital.

Last things to do before baby arrives is to clean the house really good, file some paperwork and have my pampering appointments on Saturday. I am really looking forward to getting really pampered and I hope that I will go into labor the moment they are all complete!! I have a hair cut first, then an eyebrow wax, followed by a manicure and pedicure and lastly a 90 minute prenatal massage!! At which I plan to ask the therapist to press away on any and all pressure points that may induce labor. I also plan on spending a lot of time eating spicy food, walking, swimming and anything else that may help bring on labor. Have I mentioned that I really want this to be my last week of work??

OK, on to the sad stuff. My mothers mom is in the hospital all the way down in Florida - a 10 hour drive from here! She has been having some cognitive issues for several days and most recently was having issues walking. They went to the doctor and according to her and my grandpa, she was totally fine. My uncle called the doctors office and was told that she was in urgent need of some testing and my grandparents had totally misunderstood. My uncle took my grandma to the tests and they admitted her to the hospital right away after that. She has for masses in her brain, one behind her right ear, two behind her left and one on top of her head. They are not operable.

The doctors want to do a biopsy to determine if they are some kind of infection, which they can then treat, so if they are benign or cancerous - either of which would probably mean doing nothing but making her comfortable (since radiation and chemo for an 88 year old would do more harm than good in most cases). Here is the thing, my mom is totally conflicted on where she should be.

Should she drive to FL to be with her mother, who does not have much longer regardless of the outcome of this biopsy, or does she stay here with me to be at my beck and call IF I go into labor and IF I change my mind and want here there for the labor and delivery. Everyone, including my family there in FL and grandma have told her to stay here with me. I am, apparently, the only one telling her to go. I could go into labor today or not for FIVE full weeks or anytime in between. I am not planning on her being at the actual birth or being part of my labor coaching team. I only said that I reserved the right to change my mind if I was in pain and wanted my mommy!!

It could be that she stays here and I don't go into labor, her mom passes away and she missed her last chance to see her and tell her good bye. It could be that she stays here and I do go into labor, but don't call her to be part of it and she misses her chance to say good bye. I can't imagine that she would not have some resentment toward me in some small place in her if this were to happen. Also, I don't want to feel obligated to call her to come to the labor because she chose me over her mom. I feel like I need a good cry over this! I don't know what she should do!

UPDATE: Mom called and she is on the road and almost in FL now. She decided that she just needed to go and assess the situation and be there if she is needed. She is planning on coming home at the end of the week unless there is some reason for her to stay. Also, she wants me to call her as soon as I go into labor, so she can determine if she should try to make it back in time, since labor can take many, many hours, she could make it back in time before Smug-Baby is born. I am glad that she decided to go. I hope that this is an infection and my grandmother is healed and home within this week and my mom is home before Smug-Baby decided to make her entrance and everything will be back to the way it was before grandma went into the hospital!

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