I get frustrated that my day is filled with all these tasks that I just have to keep repeating over and over and I am never finished. I don't want my life to be dishes and laundry. I want my life to be more than that and yet, I don't know what that "more" would be. What do I love doing more than all else?
Well, that would be taking care of my family of course! I love it when the house is clean and there is a hot meal on the table. I love when my husband is able to wear is favorite shirt and my daughter has access to her most comfy pajamas. I love the way the house smells when it is freshly cleaned or when I have been baking all day.
So, what exactly am I am complaining about? I love doing all the mundane daily and weekly tasks that keep my home and family running smoothly. I think that I am currently frustrated by these tasks because I am still not feeling 100% and I am tired a lot still and everything weighs on me. I feel horrible that my bathroom hasn't been really clean in a month! I hate that the dust is getting so thick that Smug-Baby can practice her drawing technique. I hate that I am struggling to do the very basic tasks to get by and can't manage to keep up on things.
Today, I haven't felt well at all and I threw up my lunch and Smug-Baby isn't feeling well and she has been crying and clingy all day. I got exactly nothing done today and when Smug-Hub got home from his 10 hours at work, he made dinner for Smug-Baby and I. It was all I could do to get myself ready for bed!
They are reading a bedtime story while I write this and I am listening to the happy sounds of baby and daddy in the other room and I am just sad that I once again feel too bad to be part of things. I just want to be left alone to sleep.
I am going to go to bed, secure in the knowledge that the "morning" (ha) sickness really IS getting better and perhaps tomorrow will be a better day for both Smug-Baby and I and if all else fails... Christmas is just a few days away!!!