Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Do Not Open Until June 2012!

Well, I can officially tell you (all 1 reader of you!!) that Smug-Baby is going to be a big sister!! It has been really hard not to blog about this pregnancy so far. We wanted to tell our family in person at Thanksgiving and we wanted to keep it a bit quiet until the end of the first trimester. But since I blog about my daily life it was like I couldn't blog! I couldn't talk about other stuff, because there isn't really anything in my life that isn't affected by this new baby!

Now the news is out there and I can start keeping a detailed record of this pregnancy! Mostly, the only major thing that I have to report is the morning sickness!! It is terrible and horrible and never-ending!!

I don’t remember it being this hard. Morning sickness was a big problem when I was pregnant with Smug-Baby, but as long as I ate every 2 hours on the dot I felt pretty decent. With this baby, I feel horrible all the time, before I eat, after I eat, in the morning, in the afternoon and in the evening. The evening is actually the worst and morning, before I eat or drink, the best – Go figure! I am currently 13 weeks along and I am hoping and praying that the morning sickness is on the way out!

I have been dealing with a lot of turmoil regarding the birth of this new Little-Smug. I initially really wanted to have Little-Smug at home, but factors outside my control have made that no longer an option and I will talk more about those in coming posts. For now we are planning to bring this baby into the world in the same hospital where Smug-Baby was born, but with a different doctor and a different doula for support. I felt really trapped in the beginning. Trapped because my city has so few options for birthing women and I am still upset about that, however, I really trust the woman who is going to act as my doula and I feel stronger with her by my side. Also, the many discussions I have had with Smug-Hub over the last 3 months have really brought us closer and I feel like he will support me and protect me and help make sure that things are done to our specifications.

I am really sad that Smug-Baby will not be able to be part of her baby brother or baby sister’s birth, but she can come into the delivery room the second Little-Smug is born and bond with us all together, so that is helping me cope. I also really trust in my baby and my body and I have a strong feeling that this baby is going to come really fast and I will not have a long labor that will keep Smug-Baby away from me for a long time. Babies have plans for their births and I have to trust that this baby has his or her own plan too. Let go and let God! Easier said than done and we will see how my calm holds up as I connect more deeply to this baby and my mama bear comes out toward the end. I hope that I will still be able to let go and trust that all will be as it should be!

1 comment:

  1. I'm so happy for y'all! And esp excited for smug baby to be a big sister! can't wait to hear all about your pregnancy now :)