Thursday, February 18, 2010


OK, I am really grouchy today. I just want to cry and pull all my clothes off, cause my belly is itching and my shirt feels like it is trying to choke me. People at work are all stopping by to comment on how I'm still here and how I should get them to induce me cause I am so huge that I could hurt my baby if I wait any longer (one women had a kid with a dislocated shoulder at birth).

I am not sleeping well at night and that is having an effect on my mood and attitude during the day. I want to stop working, but I am not sure what I would do all day if I was off all the time, but not being able to rest due to having to be at work or not being able to take a nap or whatever is really hard too. I think that I will talk to the doctor and have this be my last week. I am 41 full weeks tomorrow and they will not let me go without some intervention beyond 42 weeks, do it would only be a week tops that would cut into my maternity leave if I haven't delivered by then. I just need to get away from everyone! If I could, I would take my husband out to the woods to a little cabin and not come home until we have had the baby and bonded and everything. Everyone else can just suck it!

My aunts have gotten their knickers in a twist because they think that I don't want them to come to the hospital, when what I said was that I did not want an audience at the birth. They can come hang out at my step-mother's house, or the hospital waiting room if they want, but they are not going to be allowed to come back to the labor and delivery room to watch me be in pain or anything. I do NOT want anyone but our birth team and my husband there when I deliver. I want time after she is born to bond, just the three of us for a little while and then, once we are cleaned up and everyone is doing well, then people can come in for a quick visit (like 10 minutes) and then be on their way. I also think people are going to get pissed, when I tell them that they can't hold her. I don't really give a shit, she is mine to protect and there is so much flu and head colds and crap going around, that I am not taking the chance. I am not above blaming it on the doctor though :)

I have been waddling around today, trying to get though my little 4 hour work day and just wanting to cry every time someone walks by and makes a little comment. Do you think they would get the hint if I burst into tears?

This baby has to come out at some point right? She can't stay in there forever and soon all this uncomfortable, heavy, itchy, achy feelings will be a memory. I know that I have to let her come in her own time and I really have enjoyed being pregnant and will probably miss being pregnant, the discomfort is starting to outweigh the good stuff.

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