Elaine

I want to begin this post with a disclaimer: I know that a large percentage of brides have wedding issues far worse than mine, but I am going to bitch about mine anyway!

Elaine dated my brother for about 6-7 years, she and I and Smug-Sister became very close and we often told her that if she got smart and ditched out brother, we would keep her as our sister (this was all in joking and fun, so I doubt this is why my brother hates me..) When my bro started going out drinking and drugging every night, she told him that she was not going to put up with it and he moved out. She went into a tailspin, sleeping around and drinking a lot. Smug-Sister and I stayed my her side and helped her through the pain. She dated a few different guys, but nothing serious until Luke (aka: The Ass).

She cried most of the time that I saw her. He seemed to have emotional/mental issues and would start fights with her for the oddest reasons. I heard stories about him taking her to visit his family and then starting a fight that ended up with her luggage and car keys being thrown into the river, or thinking that some guy was flirting with her at his cousin's wedding and throwing a nasty fit in front of everyone.

He spent last Christmas with his family out of town and she spent Christmas with us. He called and chewed her out about spending time with us, because he felt that we wanted her to back with out bro, and we against him. She spent the rest of Christmas crying on my shoulder. I told her that she deserved someone really special and she told me that he was really great and he never acted like this (except every time I saw or talked to her).

The morning in March that I had set up the appointment for all the bridesmaids to go to David's Bridal to try on bridesmaid dresses, I got a call from Smug-Sister. She and The Ass had gotten into a fight over the phone the night before. Apparently, Smug-Sister had had a few drinks and in attempting to call Elaine, she thought that the connection was broken but ended up leaving a message on the voicemail. Someone else in the bar asked Smug-Sister if Elaine was seeing anyone, Smug-Sister replied that she was seeing this guy that was kind of an asshole. Elaine must have gotten the message and let The Ass listen to it. At which point he called Smug-Sister several times to scream at her.

When Elaine showed up at DB (about 45 minutes late), The Ass was with her. I told him that he could not come back into the dressing room to confront Smug-Sister and Elaine went back and made up with Smug-Sister. When she went back outside to tell The Ass that all was well, he threw a fit, Elaine came back crying and saying that they had broken up. He wanted to use her phone to call a cab. I took him the phone to spare Elaine anymore verbal abuse. He proceeded to tell me what a C*** Smug-Sister was, I bit my tongue until he got fed up and stormed into the store yelling for Elaine.

We decided to bag the dress shopping and attempted to get Elaine out of the store. At this point The Ass decided that he did not want to break up and tried to physically remove Elaine from the back seat of Smug-Sisters car. When Smug-Sister tried to intervene, he gave her a nice hard shove. I don't know where the strength came from, but I took his arm and spun him off the car, Smug-Sister shut and locked the car doors. He started to cuss at me calling me about ever wonderful name you can think of, I got into the car and we pulled away.

We hid out at a local bar for a while, telling her she was so much better off - we took her back to her car and she said that she was going to call him to work out a time for him to move his stuff from her place. Smug-Sister and I told her that we were going to worry until we heard from her. She never called... After 3 messages from me and 6 from Smug-Sister, she called Smug-Sister to tell her that they were back together.

I e-mailed her informing her that The Ass would not be welcome at the wedding, and I did not feel secure that, if she were in the wedding, he would be able to stay away. She responded that she respected that and would not be in the wedding. I responded that I loved her and she should call me that weekend and we would meet up to try to work out any remaining issues. I am still waiting for that call..... I am sure that part of his "conditional forgiveness" of taking her back was that she must cut ties with us.

I am hurt about it, and I am worried about her. She grew up with and alcoholic father, she finds this behavior to be acceptable. I miss her!! It has been 6 months, and I still miss her!

I hope that she will find the strength to leave The Ass, and pull her life back together, and I will be there for her when she does.