Friday, August 17, 2007

Family, The Ties That Bind And Gag...

So, I had a full 15 minute phone conversation with my brother the other day! We talked about movies and movie clubs and a few other minor things - he was actually PART of the conversation!! He actually talked back to me!! So, when I got my car inspected later that morning I suggested to him that I take him to see the Transformers movie the following evening since Smug-Hub would be out of town. He gave some lame excuses, but told me to call Wednesday afternoon to see if he could go.

I called him and he told me that he still had not showered up from work yet, and was supposed to give someone a ride later and would not be able to make the movie. I fully expected this and was fine with it.

I asked him if he had put in the request to have the day of the wedding off, as he works on Saturday's. He started to say "uhhhhh", and I went on saying that I would like to call on him during the day of the wedding to help run any errands that might come up. I told him that I would be very grateful. He proceeded to tell me that he might have been able to take a day off if it was any other day but Saturday as it was their busiest day. I told him that his sister did not get married all the time, that this was a once in a lifetime event and I was sure that they would be able to do without him for one day. He said that it was more complicated than that and he was just planning on coming to the wedding after he got off that day at 5. I told him that the wedding would be over by then and by the time he went home and showered the reception would be almost over!! He said "well, you know me, I'm not one for the mushy stuff" I said "It's not really about you is it? It is about a day that is of monumental importance to someone that you love" He said "We are going to have to talk about this later, I actually have people over right now and I need to go" I said "OK, I love you and I will call you later" He hung up.

I am very hurt! I don't ask much of my brother, he is not much into the family thing - OK. I make sure to acknowledge his birthday with a gift and Christmas with a gift because I love him, not because I expect something is return (which never happens anyway). I don't ask for free services on my car - nothing!! Except this! I want my family around on this most special of days! I thought that I was getting somewhere with David, what with the 15 minute phone call and everything!!

I don't know what we (the family) has done to make him hate us all so much!! He hates family get together's, except where gifts for him are involved (I know that is mean to say, but I am pissed). His excuse for everything is that he has no money, but he has money for full body tattoos and cigarettes!! What have I done?????????????

I feel all the more angry about this because my cousin is having a tiff with my uncle so she is not coming to the wedding either. Forget that this may be the last time our grandparents can make this kind of trip, forget that I have NOTHING to do with the argument - forgo the wedding because it might be tense for HER!

I don't ask much of others - I go out of my way to help whenever someone asks something of me. I try hard not to say no even when it puts hardship on me or stress on me. Smug-Hub is always telling me that it is OK to say no and that I should only say yes when it is truly no hardship of any kind. I really like helping others, it brings be joy to help out a friend. But, it does not to lead to people taking advantage, asking me to take on hardship when they know it is a hardship, making it hard for me to say no, even when they know that I would like to. But I don't get bitter, I help whenever and however I possibly can. I don't ask for much in return - why can't my own family members put me first just this once??

I miss my brother, I have not seen my cousin is several years - they are not able to put aside their own selfish impulses and think about someone else for just one day??

I don't care - I don't need them - I have plenty of other people in my life who are putting me first. Still cuts just a bit to know that people that are just acquaintances are moving their lives around to make it and putting out money for planes and hotels and my own local brother can't be bothered to take a few hours off work.....


  1. Kiddo, I hate that for you. Still there is time between now & then for both your brother & cousin to have a change of heart. Just don't expect it.

  2. late to the party - somehow I missed this post! some people are just too wrapped up in their own drama to see that it hurts other people. Short of an intervention, there's not much you can do about it.

    Enjoy your day with those that truly love and care for you, and try not to let a couple dark spots ruin it.