Saturday, September 27, 2008

Since My Last Post...

I have not felt much like posting in a while, mostly I just did not have anything to say. I do want to thank everyone who e-mailed, called, send cards and flowers and handed out the hugs! All the love and support have really made all the difference to me.

To give you all an update on what's been going on, Smug-Hub and I went to Williamsburg last weekend to help Marie and Justin (our wedding photographers) with a wedding they were doing both the flowers and taking pictures. We also wanted to get out of town for our 1 year anniversary, not to mention, just getting out of the house was really appealing.

The trip was really nice. Friday we were most of the day in Roanoke at Marie and Justin's putting together all the bouquets and table arrangements. We laughed a lot and had fun and I feel like I learned a bit about flower arranging and I could help again if they needed it. We left Roanoke about 6pm and got into Williamsburg about 10:30 (mostly because the guy leading our wagon train was a VERY slow driver). We got the flowers and supplies unloaded and then found our hotel. It was really not nice, there was a musty or mold smell that was really strong and while you got used to it after a while, I felt like I was getting a cold the whole time we were there. I am fine now that we are home.

Saturday we helped get everything set up and ready for the wedding and then attended the reception. It was OK, but it helped us appreciate our wedding and stuff more. They cut a lot of corners and it really showed.The cake was not even eatable and the poor bride had major panty line going on - I can't believe no one told her! Sunday we went to the colonial Williamsburg area. They have people in period costume and lots of old restored buildings that house little shops and stuff. Then we went to the outlet shops and picked up a few things. The prices were not as low as I would have liked to see, a 10% discount is not really worth it. That night we went to this really good Italian place for dinner, then back to the hotel to rest our aching feet and legs!

Monday we went to Jamestown, which was really cool and we stayed there the whole day. There is a recreated Indian village, settlers fort and ships! They did a tour of everything which was really cool, then we looked a the art gallery which had a collection of watercolors from John White who was on the first ship to explore this area. The art was on loan from the British museum and will probably not be back here for along time. Then we went to the museum area and spent the rest of the day there. They were closed and kicking people out when we left!

We talked about the baby some, but mostly we tried to concentrate on celebrating our first year together and talked about the years to come and what we want to see happen in the years we have coming. I am really struggling with guilt. The weekend that we got pregnant was the weekend of the Outdoor Classic. I ate crappy food, did not get any water (felt really dehydrated) and was on my feet for really long hours. This was the time in which the baby would have been trying to attach and start growing. I have a hard time believing that my behavior over that weekend was not to blame. Yet, Smug-Hub tells me that children are born to starving, disease ridden women in third-world countries all the time, and babies are born to crack heads and such. It is just hard to place no blame on myself when it was my body that was not up to the task, my body that failed.

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