Monday, May 9, 2011

Self Confidence

Recently someone made a comment about by daughter. It bothers me on two levels. Firstly, it bothers me that this person didn't feel like they could express their concerns to me in person, which makes it feel more like gossip rather than genuine concern and secondly, it bothers me that someone thinks that there is something wrong with my child's development.

The comment was expressing a concern that Smug-Baby doesn't like to go into the arms of other people besides her daddy and I. Again, I have a couple of points to make here. Firstly, she doesn't go into the arms of strangers and why would I want her to? I would rather have a child who doesn't go to everyone than the child who will climb into the car with a stranger, wouldn't you? Secondly, she does go to other people and in fact, will go to almost anyone once she has a chance to warm up to them. If someone gives her 5-10 minutes of their attention she decides that she likes them and will take their hand or go into their arms without issue.

She also has a very close bond with Smug-Sister and Smug-Grandma and loves any and all other kids. She loves the neighbor girls and her cousins, she played with T when we were visiting within about 90 seconds, and she is drawn to other kids when we are at playgrounds, parks, restaurants or anywhere else.

Within the last week, she has really gained confidence and has started letting go of my hand and exploring her location with gusto! This is wonderful to watch, but scary too, because she will just run off without noticing that she is, say running into traffic! The thing is, she keeps looking up and finding me to make sure that I'm still there. She trusts me enough to know that she is free to explore without losing me, her security.

I personally feel that this is the sign of a child that has good self confidence and healthy self esteem. She trusts that when she needs me I'll be there, but she is also able to spread her wings and feel around her world.

I feel like I am defending myself and my child from this random comment that I am sure wasn't said with intent to hurt me, but it has got me thinking about Smug-Baby's development. I am like any other parent and concerned about all the ways I can mess up when it comes to parenting, but the only thing I can do really, is to always do the best I can in the given situation with the available information. I will make mis-steps along the way, but I am confident that Smug-Baby is starting off with a foundation of confidence in herself and knows that I always have her back! What more can anyone ask?

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