Wednesday, September 8, 2010


I feel judged by people about my parenting choices. I have chosen what I feel or what I have learned through research is best for my daughter and somehow this offends people who may have made different choices.

I want to feel free to chose how I want to parent without having to defend those choices. When I was pregnant and planning a drug-free natural childbirth, people kept telling me how I would take the drugs as soon as they were offered. They would smile at me like they were indulging a child and how they knew better. Well, I had my drug-free childbirth and while it was not the most fun I've had in a day, it really wasn't so bad and I felt like such a super hero when I delivered my girl!

Then I decided to cloth diaper for reasons previously stated (money and the environment mostly), and got the same looks, the same comments about how that wouldn't last long and how silly my choice was. Well, again, cloth diapering has turned out to be really super great! I am totally converted and feel really good that I am not contributing human waste to our landfill system! Smug-Baby has never had diaper rash (besides a little thrush in the beginning) and we are saving a ton of money!

Now that I have decided to put off starting solids a bit longer, I am getting new looks. Looks of concern, like perhaps I have decided to starve my baby! When people start to question this choice and start pointing out that after 6 months, a baby really NEEDS solids, I just point to Smug-Baby's fat thighs which are hard pressed to fit into 9 and 12 month sized pants and just smile!

All that being said, I am finding that I am becoming judgmental too. I find that when I hear about someone starting their 3 or 4 month old on cereal, I am compelled to tell them all the reasons that this is so wrong. When I hear a truly appalling reason for not breastfeeding, like you don't want your boobs to get any bigger or to be saggy, it is all I can do to walk away without telling them that they are obviously not ready to be a parent, if they are putting perky before what is best for their child!!!

So, I guess I need to be less harsh on those who judge my choices. I need to recognize that they made the best choices of their babies with the best information they had available at the time. I also need to respect that others may make different choices than I when it comes to having their babies...

Even if they are totally wrong!! :)


  1. I am SO THERE. I have to defend my solids choice all the time. To my folks even. My response is the same as yours..."yeah cuz he looks pretty under nourished." i guess i just choose to coat people in sarcasm.

  2. I agree with you 100%. And I am currently in your shoes. My parenting has been questioned by many starting with not delivering my son in a hospital environment, but rather a birthing center with a midwife. The most controversy I've faced is all because Hubs and I decided to leave Monkey intact and avoid an unnecessary and traumatic elective cosmetic surgery that could change his life. I'm constantly get interesting looks because we cloth diaper. But now some have concern because we choose Baby-led solids for introducing solid foods.
    Your way of parenting may be different from some but you do the best you can for your family in your situation.

  3. Oh my gosh..those thighs are fabulous! Judgment serves a vial purpose- it encourages looking at other view points and evaluating your choices. So you can be more confident about your path and your intuition!