Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Sleep Deprivation

I have been in a haze of exhaustion for the better part of this month and it finally has caught up to me. I feel like yesterday was the worst day and I finally broke. I had a long talk with Smug-Hub about our sleeping habits and arrangements even bringing up the big "D" word. I feel like I was just so crazy from lack of rest that I was talking like a nut job.

Smug-Baby has been forced off her routine for most of this month, starting with the death in my family and the two weeks my MIL was here and she is teething on top of everything else. She is normally a happy and contented baby and this week especially she has not been sleeping well at night and does not want to be put down during the day.

I have tried the wraps and slings to try to get some things done at the house, but she will have none of it. She wants to be held and nursed all day. So, I comply. She needs extra TLC, extra comfort, then it is my job as her mama to make that happen for her.

That being said, the diet and exercise plan has totally gone out the window. She is not happy to play at my feet while I follow an exercise video and doing the video with her in a wrap or sling throws off my balance and I would like to see you try to so squats with an extra 20 pounds strapped to your chest or crunches with a baby tied to your back!!! I haven't had the time or energy to prep the meals like I planned and have been mostly eating cereal all day, because Smug-Baby cries as if her heart is breaking when I put her down to make something to eat or use the bathroom.

I know that she has just taken all that she can take and I need to stop for a moment and focus on nothing but her until she is back on track and feeling better and I am more than totally OK with that, but it is sad to put off my plan for getting in shape again.

I told Smug-Hub about everything that has been going on sleep wise for a while now and I think that he finally heard me, really understood, what I have been dealing with and is going to help make the effort to do his part in helping both the baby and I to sleep better.

So, last night I slept. I woke a few times when Smug-Baby wanted to latch on and switched sides once, but overall I slept. I woke up feeling more human than I have in a long time. I am still tired and still deprived of the amount of sleep that I really need, but for the first time in weeks or maybe even months, I woke up feeling like I was going to live and thrive and be able to be a good mommy and not a zombie!

Here is to tonight being a repeat!! God, I hope tonight is a repeat!!!

1 comment:

  1. Maybe its something in the air, Mary's behavior sounds exactly like what I'm dealing with with Molly.
    And I got to say, the thought of doing crunches with a baby on your back made me laugh! :-)