The Wise Words of Clarice!

I have had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Well, to be honest I have been in a shitty mood for several days now and I don't care for myself one bit!

It has been raining. That horrible drizzle rain that is just cold and wet and makes all the drivers on the road bat shit crazy. Work was fine besides from breaking three fingernails on my right hand when I attempted to scoot some boxes around in my cube. Then it took about 20 minutes for the teller at the bank to complete my deposit all the while my darling baby is crying the back seat. She is bored and hungry and already been in the car for almost an hour.

I take care of Gramps and get to Smug-Sister's and the day there was pretty fine. Smug-Niece was in a great mood and was content in her swing or playing on the floor most of the day, while Smug-Baby seemed like she wasn't feeling well and just cried most of the day. She seemed very easily frustrated and just wanted to be held all day. I feel like my "job" of helping my sister with her baby is wonderful, but it forces me to short-change my own child a bit. When I wasn't working, I would have just held her in the rocking chair all day, but now that isn't an option. I'm not really complaining, its just hard to get used to.

I wasn't able to get to Gramps before his dinner break, so I ran home to do a few things before I went back out to take care of his stuff after he ate. When I got home, I was just pissed. It was pouring rain and Smug-Hub (because of being sick this weekend) had not finished cleaning up the garage, so I was facing the prospect of pulling the baby out of the car in the pouring rain and then putting her back in the car 20 minutes later to go to Gramps and then repeating when I finally arrived back home. So I left her in the car and shoved items around in the garage trying to make enough room for the car to fit. I was able to do so, but in the process bashed my shin on a metal box and by the time I got back in the car to pull it into the garage, it was already a huge purple lump and is throbbing constantly.

I had about 15 minutes to kill, so I brought the dry laundry up,  put a new load in the washer, sorting Gramps's pills, collected and took out the trash and recycling and started the upload of the photos to Shutterfly so that I could order from Christmas gifts later.

Then it was back to the car for the ride to see Gramps. He wasn't totally finished with dinner so Smug-Baby and I sat with him and chatted with his dinner companions. Smug-Baby was sweet, but I could tell that she was still not feeling 100% and I felt rushed to get her home and spend some time playing together.

It was after 7 when I finally was finished for the evening and I just sat down and cried for a bit. My leg was hurting, I was tired and hungry with no food ready to eat (I ended up with a few saltines and a 7-up), my sweet daughter's cup was empty and she needed love and hugs and some quality time.

Then it happened. I turned on the TV and Rudolph was just starting. I was filled with the joy of Christmas and I realized that this would be Smug-Baby's first exposure to this holiday classic, so I sat down on the floor and held her and we watched Yukon Cornelius look for gold and I sang along to all the songs and hugged my girl close. After it was over, we got ready for and into bed and she quickly fell asleep.

I am still feeling overwhelmed and slightly depressed, but I think that it is just a domino effect from the stress of the Thanksgiving trip, followed by not feeling well and Smug-Hub being really sick and then working 12 hour shifts this week, followed by my house a mess and no clean clothes and no food in the house, and the rain and my bashed shin. I need some good deep rest and a few days to get my home in order and rest and did I mention some rest??

There's always tomorrow,
For dreams to come true,
Believe in your dreams
Come what may.

There's always tomorrow,
With so much to do,
And so little time in a day.

We all pretend
The rainbow has an end
And you'll be there my friend someday.

There's always tomorrow,
For dreams to come true,
Tomorrow is not far away.