Monday, February 7, 2011

My Ham

My little ham is starting to understand the camera and when the little auto focus flashy thing (you can tell that I am learning a lot in my photography class can't you?) goes off, she starts grinning this funny squished up grin. It is totally cute!

She is also learning a lot about her world and the routines, such as, just this weekend she has started to hold her little arm out when I come toward her with her jacket in hand. She knows that her arms go into the arm holes.

We have discovered that she is finally at the stage when she has become aware of whats going on when the TV is on. We put in a movie, Zombieland, while she was playing with her toys and not paying any attention to the TV. Then all of a sudden she crawled up in daddy's lap and was scared by the sounds and images on the TV. We quickly turned it off and will watch it at some point when she is sleeping. But it made us realize that she is aware of more than just colors and light, she knew there was scary stuff happening on screen. I felt like a really bad parent after that :(

We are also thinking that we need to start watching what we say to each other. She has picked up on times that we have been playing with each other and gets really upset that daddy is "hurting" mommy. We try to laugh a lot and make sure that she knows we are just tickling and playing around, but she still doesn't like it.

Smug-Hub has a potty mouth and he acknowledged this weekend that he needs to get a handle on it, before she picks up his words. Things that he says may be fine for in the privacy of our own home, but not out of her mouth in public, so he has to work on that!!

She is also understanding that I leave her. When she has woken in the mornings before I leave for work, she clings to me and cries if she even sees daddy coming. It breaks my heart. She has even taken to clinging to me on the weekends, when I am not going anywhere.She will cry out if I leave her line of sight to, say, use the bathroom. Leaving her is the worst and now I know that she hates is as much as I do. I really need to win the lotto!!!

Sometimes I feel so tired and overwhelmed that I just want 5 minutes alone. I sometimes really would love to pee without hearing her crying for me or banging on the door. Then I feel badly for feeling like that because she is my miracle, my gift and I can't imagine my life without her.

If I am away from her for more than 5 minutes, my heart aches for her and when I see her I hold her tightly and smell her hair and breath and squeeze her little body like I haven't seen her in 50 years. 

I am so honored that she chose me to be her mother!

1 comment:

  1. All of that is TOTALLY normal!!!! Separation anxiety hits around 9 months but can come later. T has a lot of sep anxiety in the morning - esp if Daddy comes in first instead of Mama. And if I leave the room to get a clean diaper - oh the wailing! Daddy will NOT do! :) Make sure you get your 5 minutes. It will help you be a better mom. Not that you need improvement, but you get what I mean. Toren has been aware of what's going on on the screen for a long time - he has gotten scared in that same way and we had to change the channel. :) It's ok. They wont remember it for long and we rectified the situation. I know what you mean though about having been away even for a short time and it feels like an eternity. Even when he's just taking a nap, I go in when he wakes up and I tell him how much I missed him before I even realize what I'm saying! :) Yay for Baby Love.