Thursday, April 12, 2012


Smug-Baby has been doing this hitting thing and I don't know what to do about it. She isn't angry or frustrated, just more excited and sometimes not even that, she is just sitting there and all of a sudden will smack me in the face.

I smacked her back once very lightly, but she still cried. I kissed her face and told her that people are not for hitting and she didn't like it when mommy hit her and mommy doesn't like it when she gets hit either. I thought she got it, but about 10 minutes later she smacked me in the face again. This time, I pretended to cry, covering my boo-boo with my hand, crying, asking for kisses and asking why she hit her mama when people are not for hitting. She seemed to take pause with that and even get a little upset on my behalf, but didn't comfort me and kiss me or anything.

I have used that approach the few other times since when she has hit me, and while she doesn't seem to be increasing the frequency of the hitting, it doesn't seem to really be stopping it either. Maybe it just takes some time... I don't know.

I could kind of understand hitting if she was frustrated and feeling like she wasn't able to express herself or get her point across. Sometimes she has snacked Smug-Hub when he has gotten up in her face for kisses or to tickle her and she isn't in the mood and I that I can kind of understand too. Not to say that in those situations it's OK for her to hit, just that I understand where the behavior is coming from and feel more confident on how to deal with it. This hitting while playing or just reading a book or watching TV doesn't seem to have a trigger and I am not sure of the best way to proceed with helping her learn that it isn't OK.

I find that I hit Smug-Hub a lot too and I need to work on that behavior in myself. I play smack him all the time. I whack him on the arm if he isn't paying attention when I'm talking or arguing with me about something dumb. I wonder if Smug-Baby is seeing that as playful and just acting it out in her own way. Regardless, I need to stop hitting my husband :)

Not sure what to do, keep on keeping on I guess...

1 comment:

  1. Hi!!! It sucks when everything is good and they just whack you in the face out of nowhere! Coming my experience wrangling toddlers at a daycare for 3 years, it's just a phase. She's testing the waters and exploring your reactions and categorizing what is acceptable and not acceptable. She doesn't associate hitting with anger or frustration like we do, she's just learning cause and effect. My nephew took pretty well to our reactions of sadness and hurt when he hit us, but it def took time. It may take 100 times before she really gets the message. At the daycare hitting was an epidemic and if it really became a problem we would just say you know, hitting is not okay, I don't want to play with you when you hit, and leave them to play alone. Mostly they're so eager to get your approval they eventually realize they would rather play with you than hit you and a natural consequence of hitting is that no one wants to be around you.

    It sounds like you're doing great. Be patient, stick to it and resort to a blow horn to get Chris' attention instead of hitting, or else he won't want to play with you :D