After lunch, while Smug-Baby napped, we made up a grocery list and clipped coupons and got everything together for grocery shopping so that when she woke up we could take off and get all that done. Smug-Hub had a coupon for a free haircut so he went one way and Smug-Baby and I headed off to CVS, Fresh Market, Kroger and to get gas. While I was focused and driven and got things done in record time, Smug-Baby was still really over it all by the time we finished and headed home. All in all it was a fine outing and she did great, but I was beat and had done something to my back by the time I got home and while I tried to straighten up and get laundry going, I was really hurting so I sat down.
That was hard for me. To see all that needs to get done and know that it isn't going to get done if I sit down and also knowing that I will really regret emptying the dishwasher if it causes something to go wrong with my little man.
We had a prenatal appointment with the midwife this weekend and she told me very gently that I needed to slow it down and stop trying to do everything myself. I have been having more and more BH contractions and she wants me to be aware of them and go get checked at the hospital if they start to turn into anything more than they have been. She reminded me to be sure to get off my feet during the day, to nap if possible and to not overdo.
There are some things that I can't just stop doing, like taking care of Smug-Baby, so that has to be the top priority, followed by feeding us and the dishes, followed by cleaning our clothes if possible. Then everything else, cleaning the bathroom's, straightening up, running errands and all those other non-essentials will have to fall on Smug-Hub for the next few months. He says that he is fine with it and I know that he will do whatever needs to be done, but he does have this habit of complaining and throwing little fits when things aren't going his way. I just have to remember to approach him with the pregnancy stuff first - "Honey, I am having some cramping, will you take over making dinner tonight?" Instead of "hey, I need you to do dinner tonight while I lay on the couch"
He is totally excited and focused on his baby boy so he doesn't have an issue doing whatever to help out, but sometimes he gets frustrated (and rightly so) that he works all day and comes home to a messy house and no food and a pile of work to be done. I have always felt that in order for our married life to be as fair as possible, I needed to pick up the slack and do everything I could do at home to make up for my not bringing in as much (and soon much less) money. It's just going to be the last few months of the pregnancy where he is going to have to do more than his normal share, and I am going to have to work on not feeling guilty about laying on the couch with my feet up while he tries to get dinner on the table while Smug-Baby wants him to be a jungle-gym for her to climb on!