Thursday, March 24, 2011

What Is Wrong With Me?

I can't seem to focus and get anything done. I can't even manage to track my food. I am not getting outside and walking or even doing things around the house!

I want to get so much stuff done and yet can't seem to get started on anything. I tell myself that I will just get one thing done each day. Today I will clean..., today I will walk... but then I never do.

Smug-Baby is cutting another tooth and she is miserable and I have been focused on holding her and playing with her to keep her mind off her pain. She hasn't slept well in several nights; not really waking, but restless and crying out in pain during the night. That means that I am tired too and I am starting to feel run down again. I don't want to get sick and I really don't think I can handle another week of my home being in horrible disarray.

I laid out a calendar and marked one task on each day for the next several weeks in a plan to spring clean my house. I figure that if I concentrate on one room each day, even if I am working at Smug-Sister's that day, it shouldn't be too overwhelming. I even marked two days for the bigger rooms, like the kitchen. It all starts this weekend with a big push to clean up the downstairs. I have been trying to get that area cleaned up for months, but things keep coming up.

I want to pull the car out of the garage and start a stack of stuff for a yard sale and do that next weekend. Everything that doesn't sell goes to Goodwill. That will go a long way to clearing up all the clutter and should give me some inspiration to continue getting rid of things and cleaning up and wiping down and getting my house in good order!!

I am so frustrated with my weight loss plan. Mostly in that I keep eating even when I know that the choices aren't great and it will result in a gain at the meeting on Saturday. I want to be motivated, but I am struggling! Tomorrow I am going to try to work on menus and a grocery list and I have got to set aside time for cooking this weekend so that all my food is all ready to go and there isn't any thought in mind about what I should be eating.

If there isn't something ready, I am more prone to eating something I shouldn't. Like tonight, I had pancakes with lots of butter and maple syrup (earth balance and they were buckwheat pancakes, but still!!) I was still hungry after and ended up eating from pesto pasta with Smug-Hub when he got home from work. I think that the stress of things going on in my family is causing this overeating and lack of caring about what I am doing.

I almost wish that stress had the opposite effect, like it does with some people. Some people obsessively clean when they are stressed or can't eat anything during periods of stress. I don't have that problem; I eat all the time and get really lethargic!! It stinks all the way around I guess.

Wish me luck as I head to bed tonight. I hope that Smug-Baby sleeps more soundly and I get some rest. I still have Thursday and Friday to get through before the weekend and my spring cleaning plan gets underway!!

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