Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Finding Your Power

Women are the most powerful creatures in the universe. I know that I am not the only one who believes this to be true, mostly because... well... it is true!

Women are taught to believe that they are the weaker sex and that they NEED a man in their lives to feel complete and to take care of them. As a result, women have been dominated, abused and taken advantage of for just about forever. But what we fail to realize is that men need us a whole lot more than we need them! It's time women start to internalize that truth and stop being stomped on by the men in their lives!

I believe that men, as a general rule, feel very insecure by the fundamental fact that women give birth. The only other entity that creates life is God, so men feel like women are closer to being God-like than they are and they really have a hard time with that. In order to make themselves feel better, they use their physical advantage to push their women into the dirt. They feel like if they can make a women feel less than she is, then they can feel like more than they are.

The things is though, once a woman finds her power; once she realizes that the man in her life is really lint on her shoe, her whole world changes. Let me explain with an extreme example of a day in the life of man and of woman.

The woman wakes, runs on the treadmill for an hour, gets ready for work, wakes the kids, makes breakfast, packs lunches, checks homework and makes sure backpacks are ready, gets the kids on the school bus, leaves for work and drops off the dry cleaning on the way, during her lunch break she gets the car washed and goes to the bank, on the way home from work she picks up groceries, she runs johnny to band practice and Suzie to soccer practice, after getting home she makes dinner while helping the kids with homework, after dinner she cleans the kitchen, runs a load of laundry, sews a missing button on her husband's shirt, bakes cookies for the school bake sale, gets the kids ready for and into bed, works on the special project for her job, does more laundry and falls into bed for 3-5 hours until time to do it all over again.

The man wakes up, gets ready for work, works, comes home, changes into comfy clothes, watches football and goes to bed.

In the "olden" days there were very defined gender roles, the father was the financial provider and the mother ran the household. There wasn't much room for any other arrangement. Then women's lib happened, women wanted to work outside the home if they chose. So, we started working full time jobs, just like our husbands. However, the running of the household stayed the woman's responsibility! Women now are working the same jobs men do, but still coming home and trying to raise the children and run the household - which is a full time job in and of itself. We are doing the workload of two and doing it fairly well.

Now, I will actually argue that point - we are not doing it fairly well, we are getting by, but there are more childhood behavior issues, obesity issues and more divorce and I really do blame women's lib for that. There is no one at home, raising the children and preparing healthy meals and watching their husbands complain about having to take out the trash and not getting enough sex is enough to make any woman want a divorce!! However, we are still functioning and making it through life without killing anyone (most of the time) or killing ourselves (again, most of the time). We have adjusted to another form of inequality and are eating up with knife and fork!

Let's look at the woman in an abusive relationship. He doesn't beat on her, but tells her she is fat, ugly, stupid, no one would love her, how she is lucky that he puts up with her, etc. This is a really hard place to pull yourself out of, because when someone whom you feel loves you, tells you this stuff, you tend to believe it. Think about it, you are at a party and someone says "What a great dress, you look wonderful" you say "oh this old thing?" and get red in the face. Again, same party, someone whispers to you that your deodorant seems to have failed, you run straight to the bathroom to wash and try to get rid of the horrible smell that you didn't even realize you were putting out there. You see? The negative stuff is easier for us to believe.

Back to our abused women - she finds out that she is pregnant. Suddenly, everything is different. She no longer matters. What she wants no longer matters. Who she loves no longer matters. Now, the only thing this woman thinks about, cares about is her unborn child. She explodes into a ferocious mama bear and understands now how a woman could move a car off of her child!! She is powerful, full of new life, full of this God-like power and nothing will get in the way of her protecting this new life she has created.

She suddenly realizes that the abusive man in her life will continue to abuse her, but now she also knows that he will abuse her child!! He will talk to her child the way he talks to her!! He will lie and cheat and break this child's heart over and over and over, the same way he does to her. Suddenly, this is totally unacceptable! While it was OK for him to treat her this way, it will never be OK to watch her child be treated the same way. Why, she thinks to herself? Why am I worthy of less than my child? I am someone's child too!!

Then she starts to think about how she doesn't need this abusive man in her life. She has a job and can support her child on her own. She has supportive friends and family to help her when she needs it. She doesn't actually need this man at all. Once she realizes that she doesn't need him to help with her child and really doesn't want him near her presious baby, she realizes that she doesn't need him at all in her life!

Once this woman discovers the power within her, she is filled with the knowledge that she is all powerful and she can make anything happen in her life that she wants. Once that happens, she is open to finding a man who recognizes her power and only wants to bask in her glory and if she decides she wants to share her love and her life and her power with someone she can, and if not - well, she has all the power she needs!!

There are men in this world who are like that - only want to bask in the glory of these powerful women, who feel closer to being God-like themselves when this amazing, powerful creature desides to give him her heart. They are out there, but they are still rare.

So, OK - this one's for you, you know who you are! - find your power, its there within you and all you have to do is realize that it is there and you will find that this man you think you love is nothing but lint on your shoe and your child demands better! You are woman, you bring new life into this world! There is nothing he can do that can top that and he will never be good enough for you! He will never embrace your power and love you for it. He will always fear it and try to beat it down, because he is a sad, scared little man with no power at all. You are loved and you are worthy. You are strong and you are powerful.

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