Tuesday, January 10, 2012


I am writing this at 4am, my daughter has been asleep for about 10 minutes and I have to start getting ready for work in about 20 minutes and I figure that if I go back to bed, I will fall back asleep and then feel horrible in 20 minutes when the alarm goes off, so I thought it would be better if I just stayed up.

Smug-Baby has been sleeping pretty well in her new big girl bed beside mommy and daddy's bed in our bedroom. Most nights she sleeps from about 9pm until about 3am, before climbing into bed with me for some Binky's and she goes right back to sleep. The problem with this scenario is that she isn't back into a deep sleep at 4:30am when the alarm goes off and I have to get up. So she ends up getting up with me and taking a shower with me and crying bitterly when I have to leave for work. This is also a bummer for Smug-Hub who also must be awake and moving at 5am! Since he often chooses to stay up watching TV or online until 2am, I don't really have a lot of sympathy for him, but it does suck for him. It sucks for me to have to leave her when she is begging me to stay.

The other thing that happens often, and I can't decide which is worse, is that she wakes more like midnight and then doesn't go back to sleep for hours and hours. This is what happened tonight/last night/this morning. She woke at 11:30, nursed for a while and then seemed to be back asleep. When I tried to un-latch her and get comfortable and try to get back to sleep myself, she woke up. She nursed more and just flopped around, but didn't seem to get back into a restful sleep, so that means no sleep for mommy! At 1am, Smug-Hub came into bed and she woke up fully and wanted water and to talk and play. I thought that I might have to kill my husband at this point, but really there isn't anything that says she would have gone back into a deep sleep had he already been in bed.

She wanted to nurse more, but I am so sore from pregnancy that extended nursing is just about impossible, so I kept distracting her and telling her that the Binky's were sleeping. We tried singing and more water and back rubbing and rocking and she was pretty mellow throughout, but she wasn't interested in sleeping. Finally I laid back down with her in her bed about 3:30 and she nursed some and then I turned her over a little and she fell asleep. That brings us to now. I am cold and my nose in stuffed up and my throat hurts and my head is pounding, I haven't slept since 11:27 last night, so less than two hours of sleep total, and I have to get into the shower and go to work.

This situation is worse for me by far than when I have to leave her crying to go to work. I feel nauseous all day and over tired and am more short with Smug-Baby than I want to be. She gets to sleep as long in the mornings as she wants and Smug-Hub sleeps through the night. We have tried having him work to get her back to sleep, but she is going through a faze where she only wants mommy and she will just scream and bang on the bedroom door if he takes her so I can try to sleep, and I certainly can't sleep while she is screaming for me! So, these all night wakings are mine to deal with.

I don't know what to do about it. How do I help her sleep more deeply or for longer or not to notice when I leave the bed? My hope is that given time she will adjust to her own bed, she will sleep for longer and longer stretches until she isn't waking to nurse at all during the night. I did notice that her stomach was growling at one point last night, so maybe she is waking due to hunger and I need to make sure she eats something filling before bed or something. I am lost and tired and my body aches all over...

Time for a hot shower and to pretend that leaving my sleeping family is super fun!!

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